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We were friends but there was something he didn't know about me: My bisexuality. The fact and truth that I had sex with guys. I'd thought about sharing my secret with him but never "got around to it."

"Um, how come you haven't tried having sex with a guy?" I asked. "I mean, that's what a lot of guys do when they can't get any pussy."

It was a suggestion more than a desire for me to have his dick - and, yes, I wanted it. I'd seen it too many times not to want it but watching him give himself a blowjob made me want it even more.

"I thought about it," he started. "I asked Junie if we could have sex and he said my dick was way too big."

Junie was one of the two gay dudes in our group and I found it surprising that he turned Ronnie down because Junie was known for taking on any guy (and including quite a few adult men).

I didn't want to ruin my friendship with him; I'd lost a few friends because I had no qualms about having sex with a guy but I couldn't take any more of seeing him suffering and being down on himself because, again, he didn't ask to be born this way.

"Look, um, if you want to have sex, I'll have sex with you," I said. I waited for him to lose his mind, start cussing me out, wanting to fight, and ending our friendship right then and there.

"You would? So it's true that you go both ways?" he asked.

I didn't know who told him but I just nodded. It didn't help that, like me, Ronnie wasn't all that modest; he hadn't put his pants on after sucking himself off and I couldn't take my eyes off of his dick and was forcing myself to look him in the eye.

"Don't you think it's too big?" he asked.

"If I did, I wouldn't have told you what I did," I said. "You don't have to but it breaks my heart to see you going through not being able to get laid, so..."

He sat back and I could see that he was thinking about my offer. I was afraid that he would say no and end our friendship.

"Well, okay, if you want to," he said and stretched out on his bed.

It was all I could do to not jump on him like I was a starving animal... which I was. I walked over to his bed, sat alongside him, and took his dick in my hand. It was very warm and heavy in my hand and I could feel him starting to get hard again. I took the head of his dick into my mouth and he moaned; I took some more in and he gasped. I kept taking more until my gag reflex demanded that I stop but that was fine because I now had a lot of his dick in my mouth... and I started sucking him in earnest. I fondled his huge nuts; I used all of my skill in sucking his dick.

"Oh, shit, I'm gonna cum," he moaned and I barely managed to back off to the head of his dick before mouth got flooded with his cum.

Ronnie was 13 and like most of us were. He was tall for his age, towering over the rest of us who were lucky enough to be over 4' 5". He was skinny, too; that alone was enough to get the "freak" label slapped on him.

What really made him a freak was that he had a thick, 10" dick and a set of balls that belonged on a grown man's body. Girls didn't want anything to do with him even though, despite his height, he met their other criteria: He was handsome, somewhat light-skinned, and had very wavy hair; I know I used to tease him about his hair by saying it was so wavy that people who looked at it would get sea sick.

As such, he was an outcast and among us guys, too; Ronnie would get picked on because of his height and was the object of a great deal of penis envy. The rumor going around that got a lot of guys riled up was that girls were losing their minds over the size of Ronnie's dick and were flocking to him to be fucked with such a big dick... but I knew it was only a rumor because I knew that because of the size of his dick, Ronnie was still a virgin, unlike the rest of us. I was, maybe, one of two friends that were true friends to him; the other guys teased him unmercifully and often displayed a lot of jealousy by saying that he was so much of a freak that he could suck his own dick.

Well, I knew that part was true because I watched him do it one day and, yeah, I was a bit envious and very much impressed. We had been in his room and I'm listening to him telling me about his recent failures to get a girl to have sex with him and the more he talked about it, the harder his dick had gotten and, whew, there was no missing the fact that he had an erection even though he wore baggy pants in order to hide his size and girth and more so when there wasn't a pair of underwear that could contain his dick.

He's talking, getting both frustrated and horny and I'm feeling so sad for him. He stops talking and says, "Promise you won't say anything?"

"About what?" I asked.

His answer was to shuck his pants and free his erection and... I drooled. My own dick started to get hard just looking at his boner. He gave me a look, kinda shrugged, and just bent over and started giving himself a blowjob. I almost came in my pants. Kept wiping my mouth. He'd started out slowly but really picked up the speed. I couldn't stop watching him. A few moments later, he came in his mouth and I... came in my pants watching his dick pumping cum into his own mouth.

"You can't tell anyone about this," he said after he was done draining his balls.

"I won't," I said.

"This is the only way I can... take care of things," he said and my heart went out to him because it wasn't his fault that he was born the way he was.

When your confidence is up and running, there should be little doubt going on in your head. Okay, maybe a little. But being confident means that that little bit of doubt... isn't going to be a problem because you know you're going to do your best for it to not be a problem.

A guy tells me that he cums too fast when he gets sucked. He actually said that he wasn't confident that he could hold off from cumming long enough to make me happy and... I got in his case and told him, "The whole purpose of me sucking your dick is to get you to cum and if it happens quickly, okay - you did what I wanted you to do and you did what you wanted to do: You wanted to cum in my mouth and you did. Man, you need a serious confidence boost..."

Another guy tells me that he's not good at sucking dick. His past experiences had eroded whatever confidence he may have started out with and my words to him were, "Don't worry about being good at it; be confident that you're going to do the best you can because it's all that any of us can do. Besides, isn't it kinda up to me to decide if I think you were good at it?"

He said it was and I said, "Okay, so, what's the problem? Are we gonna do this or what?" But I knew what the problem was: He lacked confidence. He believed that he was lousy at it and was sure he was going to fail to please me and... he was wrong about both things, but he did say that I gave him back his confidence and I suggested that, going forward, he not let anyone take it away from him and he should never take it away from himself.

If you don't have confidence, you don't have anything. If you let someone erode your confidence, that's not their fault: That's your fault. Confidence always begins with you. A guy tells me that he's not confident that he can make me cum and I'm thinking, "You're kidding, right?" I said this and he starts telling me about all the times he failed to make a guy cum and while he loved sucking dick, those failures made him less confident and he'd decided to stop trying to make a guy cum.

I was... furious. Probably shoudn't have been but I was. I had a long talk with him about being confident and that also means accepting that you will fail at times... but that should never mean giving up and not believing in yourself. He didn't want to go through with it but I convinced him to and... he made me cum. Pretty quickly, too. He was encouraged but said it was a fluke which meant to me that we had to do this again so he could see - and have proven - that it wasn't a fluke. It wasn't. It took him longer to make me cum but I sure the hell did.

He got his confidence back. He called me about a month later to tell me that he'd sucked a lot of guys since he sucked me and... made all of them cum. Amazing what some confidence in yourself can do, huh? My final words are if you aren't sure about how confident you are about having sex with men, learn to be confident and beginning with being confident that you are going to do the best you can do.

It's not... bragging or otherwise "talking shit." It's that... knowing that you're going to do the best you can and being confident that you can and will learn how to have sex with a man and whether it's your first time or the one hundredth time. You can't please everyone but if you're not confident that you're still going to try to, well, hmm.

I remember the first 9" dick I had. Homey pulled that snake out and my first thought was, "Oh, shit!" and he wasn't even hard. I wasn't sure if I could suck this guy's dick and it was an ugly feeling inside of me and it didn't help that he was waiting for me to get started. I... lacked confidence in my ability to suck dick and was intimidated by his length and girth. He asked, "Well, what are you waiting for?" and I wasn't going to tell him that I was waiting for my confidence to return but it did and... I had him hollering for his momma and Jesus to come save him.

When you don't have confidence, you don't have anything. A lot of guys say, "I wanna do this but I don't know if I can get away to do it..." and I understand that but if you're not confident that you can't find a way to do it, you aren't going to be able to do it. The same kind of guys say that it's impossible when it isn't if you have the confidence that you can "work the problem" and find a solution if, you know, it's something you really want and need to do.

You have to... believe in yourself. Have a level of confidence that says you will try your very best to do whatever it is you want to do. Don't let a lack of dick size destroy your confidence in your body's ability to get your dick hard so it can be made soft again. Not confident that you can deep throat a dick or take a big one in your ass? If you believe that you can't, then you won't be able to but confidence in yourself says, "The only way we will know that we can't do it... is to do it and doing our best to deal with it."

I was confident that I could deep throat a guy with a measured 13" dick. It was daunting as fuck and, for a long second, I wasn't sure that I could - but my confidence in myself came back and... I did it. Holy shit! High-fiving myself big time. Amazed the shit out of him because no one had ever taken all that dick down their throat before. Next was... taking all that dick in my ass and, again, my confidence wavered but returned because I was confident that I was going to do whatever I had to do to get that dick in me... and get - and deal - with all of it in me. Yeah, I knew I was going to "pay" for all of this later... but I was also confident that I would be able to deal with the aches, pains, and very sore throat I got from repeatedly deep throating him.

Building confidence, however, should never result in being cocky and I've encountered a lot of guys who were cocky and, well, let's say that they learned not to be and, yes, it was a lesson I had to learn - and learned it the hard way even though my parents had taught me to not be cocky.

You live and learn, right?

I had been invited to audition for the all-state orchestra - quite an honor. I played trumpet and I had to pick a piece that had to demonstrate my understanding of music and my "mastery" with my instrument. My band director sat with me and we picked a piece - "The Trumpet Song" and looking at the music I thought, "Oh, shit... this looks hard!" and, well, yeah, it was but he convinced me that once I got to practicing it, I would be able to nail it.

Yeah, not really. There was this one part of the piece, oh, about five or six measures worth, that I couldn't get right. I kept playing those measures over and over and fucked it up every time. I was frustrated and lacked confidence in my ability to play the piece and was thinking about not auditioning.

He... jumped in my ass. The first thing he told me was that if you don't have confidence, you don't have anything. I had to be confident that I could do this because if I wasn't, my audition would go very bad. Those words were serious words of wisdom for me; I auditioned, played the piece, and got selected.

I found that his words to me were true for... having sex with a guy and especially if it's one's first time. In the many times I've given a guy his first experience, I sometimes had to tell a guy what my band director had told me: If you don't have confidence, you don't have anything. You have to be confident about a lot of things but confident in a way that's not... fooling yourself; it's something I discovered that a lot of guys were doing and false confidence... doesn't work in this. You have to truly believe that you want to do this and that you can do this... and you are going to strive to be the best you can be at it.

And beginning with having confidence in yourself. I don't know how many times I've been negotiating with a guy for some mutual cocksucking and the other guy is going on and on about not being sure if he's really good at sucking dick or otherwise being self-depreciating. Lacking confidence in himself. Already deciding that I'm going to say that he's worse than being lousy at it. Getting all weird about not having a monster-sized dick. That he cums too fast or lacking confidence in his ability to just relax and let it happen. Sometimes not even being sure that this is what he wants to do.

It drove me "crazy." I had realized that being confident was, in fact, a lesson I'd been taught all along but sometimes something comes along that challenges your confidence and if you don't accept the challenge and do the best you can do, well, that's a problem.

As a well traveled business person I find people from all walks of life to be compelling and adventurous, I don't believe in the concept that sucking cock or getting sucked makes us gay, on the contrary. I love woman, fucking pussy is my favorite past time, but since I'm am getting older I come to realize there's a whole other group of people who need sexual pleasure. For reasons I cannot describe I have an addition to pleasing a man. Often times while traveling if one listens to others one can figure out what direction the conversation is leading. Lets take last week for an example, ii was sitting at a bar, ordered food and was content on sitting there enjoying my beer in peace with the wife nagging at me.

A sharp dressed man sat next to me and we were commenting on the coverage of sports on ESPN, fuck I hate those assholes he said, MMM me toI answered. After striking up a conversation he said he was married and loved to travel as it was his way of getting away from the wife. He openly admitted that he would rather masterbate than fuck his wife. Mmmm tough cookie I said, I too enjoy the touch of my own hand. He said when 2 men men get together does that makes them gay? Of course not, I said.

Not knowing exactly where the conversation was going he whispered I could use a buddy tonight, oh really and what would you do with a buddy. Take a long hot shower, wash each others cock and balls, suck him until he showered me in cum. Thankfully no one was close enough to hear him and all I could do was try and contain the hard-on that was going on. All I could do is say sounds exciting when do we leave? He smiled and said lets finish your drinks and go to my room. I must admit my mouth was longing for a stiff cock, when we closed the door he couldn't wait to get undressed, his fucking cock was huge. 9 inches and thick as hell, balls that were the size of apples and close shaven. We showered and it was most likely the longest shower I ever had, that guy sucked 2 loads out of me just in the shower. Of course his cock was awesome as well and he spiiilled cum in my throat.

With the drinks we had and the excitement of seeding each other I fell asleep in his room, the next morning I was awakened by a hot warm mouth chewing on my pecker. Morning sex is the best.

There's a difference between being careful and discreet... and being paranoid. When being able to go online and get some dick blew up, oh, my god... how many guys did I come across who were so paranoid about other people finding out that they were into getting some dick that they were loath to give much in the way of information that I could use to make an informed decision about them?

A lot of guys. The fakes and flakes and trolls were one thing, guys who like to play the game but didn't have it in them to... shit or get off the pot. I learned to spot these guys more often than not. The ones who drove me crazy were the ones who were so concerned about protecting their identity that I wondered why the hell they were here and trying to get the dick they wanted. In my mind, if you were hiding stuff about yourself, hmm - what else could you be hiding?

Man... all this "Secret Squirrel" stuff still makes me roll my eyes because you can't get anything without giving something. One guy wanted to meet... in another state. Said that he'd only tell me where we were meeting when I was on my way and in that general direction. Then he said that when we met, I couldn't ask him anything about him. I said, "Yeah, I'm not doing that." and he got pissed off and got to ranting and raving about how he needed to protect his identity because of his family and all that and all I said to him was that it was abjectly stupid to walk into a situation and not know anything.

I understand being discrete. Paranoia, on the other hand, ain't gonna help you. Distrusting guys out of hand isn't going to help you. When the WWW came to be, guys found that being anonymous was a great thing; you could be online with a made-up name or handle and go fishing for dick but if someone "took the bait," well, how can you expect to make the connection if you're not going to say anything that will convince the other guy that you're not some... axe murderer?

When you go online and you're unwilling to give out information for the other guy to be able to make an informed decision, oh, like, what your name is for a starter, chances are you're not going to be getting a lot of action. I mean, I wouldn't come right out and give some guy my address or anything like that but I'd tell him what my name was, and I wouldn't give him a fake name. Let's get a dialog going and work toward earning each other's trust so that we can do what we're trying to agree to do. And with the understanding that if you can't trust me with your name, well, that's not a good thing from where I'm sitting. I get going to some out of the way place to do the deed and, as an aside, I know some stuff about that and stuff that I don't think some guys think about when they're behaving like they work for the CIA and meeting for sex is like spy work.

I've met a lot of guys who'd had sex with their brother or brothers. I don't think ill of them because of it and not because I was "just as guilty" as they were but because I understand some stuff about this that others might not agree with because, yeah, it's a sin but it remains true that... brothers can decide that it wouldn't be all that bad if they were to have sex. It has always happened and right now, somewhere in the world, two brothers are finding out that having sex with each other isn't bad... even though it's bad.

If we have a brother, we are expected to love each other and, well, yeah, it doesn't always work the way we're told it's supposed to. We're supposed to be bonded to each other and I learned that having sex with my brother, despite my initial reluctance to, bonded us; I just don't think our parents thought that we'd bond in this way... but maybe they did and after getting caught having sex with him by our mother, I was sure that she knew what we'd been doing and chose that moment to make us stop... which we didn't but I learned some stuff just the same.

It's... not right but the truth is that it has never stopped anyone from doing it. It's trust; it's really the devil you most certainly know and better than anyone else you know. It's even convenient and as fucked up as that might sound. The fact that it's a very bad thing to do... um, makes it kinda thrilling but I've felt that if you're supposed to love your brother - and you learned to love each other by making love, well, hmm. I know I have a way of looking at this that some would find disturbing but it's a fact of life; not all brothers get to this point in their relationship as brothers, but the fact remains that... some do because as fucked up as it is, it... also makes a lot of sense.

We... need to talk about such things and more so when this is the reason why someone is bisexual. One has to ditch the guilt and understand that this is how life can be. And if this offends you, well, I'll apologize for that but this is a part of life that I will never coat with sugar.