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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]The decision was "easy" to make because I was learning that if a guy didn't remember anything else about you, it would be how good you sucked his dick; being a good cock sucker was prized over having a nice, fuckable ass (but it didn't hurt your rep if you were a good fuck). I actually overheard two guys talking about me and how good I could suck dick and, at first, I was bothered to overhear this and surprised they were even talking about me like that but, then again, they didn't know I was close enough to overhear them. They both agreed that if they couldn't say anything else about me, I could suck a mean dick but they also agreed that fucking me wasn't bad either. It kinda hurt for a moment to hear them say that they'd rather have me suck them off but then I realized that they weren't really saying that I was a lousy lay - they were saying I was a better cock sucker and that meant a lot to me since, again, I had made it a life purpose to be as good at it as I could be.

Guys with the really big dicks would be impressed that I could deep throat them without gagging, that I could hold them deep for a long time and even let them fuck my mouth without gagging or protesting. Sometimes, yeah, I hated the way they'd use my mouth, hated them calling me names like baby and bitch and I learned not to tolerate that shit but even this... disrespect was part of the deal because for a lot of guys, you're just a means to an end and teaching me everything women hated about sucking cock.

Every so often, I'd run into a guy who didn't want his dick sucked... and I'd wonder what the hell was wrong with him and, most of the time, it was because they'd cum too fast and get taken out of the game. That used to make me angry to have a guy lose his load and as soon as thirty seconds after I started sucking him... but I learned that it happens, that he really has no control (or little control) over it and my ego loved it when that happened and especially when the other guy didn't think it would.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]For me, everything was a learning experience and the more dicks I sucked, the more I learned that any guy can get their dick hard and fuck you with it... but being able to suck dick really good and even make guys cum when they weren't ready to - or didn't think they would or could - was the real skill to be learned and mastered... and I was determined to be as good at it as I could. It was nice to be told by a guy that he enjoyed fucking me, that he liked the way his dick felt in my ass... but it was a much better feeling to be told that I suck cock better than the girls the guy knew of - high praise, indeed. I never let such sentiment go to my head; I'd seen guys fall into this trap and get their feelings badly hurt to be told that they weren't shit when it came to sucking a dick and it was clear that should a guy decide you were a lousy cock sucker, the word would spread quickly that you should be avoided at all costs.

That guys came looking for me so I could suck them off spoke volumes to me; at least I didn't have a bad rep due to my ability to suck a dick and, really, if any guy I've ever blown had something bad to say, I never found out about it. Sure, some guys would school me on the best way to blow them and I was okay with that; while one can literally suck any dick, what works on one guy might not work on the next guy. One interesting result was that I learned a lot of detail about sucking a dick and storing a lot of information about every time I got it right or "wrong" - then being able to apply all that I'd learned about how to get a guy to cum in my mouth.

Lots of successes... and some failures as well... but it's still part of the deal; you really can't make every guy happy sucking his dick but, by and large, if you could get him to cum, well, he'd overlook whatever bad spots cropped up as you worked - and sometimes worked hard - to get him to cum. And I also learned that if he didn't cum, it wasn't my fault or anything I did incorrectly - he just couldn't and there were many, many reasons for that. So, yeah, I also had to learn not to get bent out of shape about that... because I did spend some time sucking dick.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]What I had to accept was that before I was made to feel shitty and dirty, I did have fun sucking that dick even if I learned to not like the guy attached to it so much. So sucking dick became my "main" thing to do, not just for the sheer pleasure it gave me but even in the early days of my journey, I learned a mantra of sorts: It could be done practically anywhere, didn't take a whole lot of time, and I didn't have to spend a lot of time making sure my ass was clean enough to be fucked. It was easy to figure out that if another guy didn't want to do anything else, he'd want his dick sucked and his balls emptied.

I was learning - and just like a lot of guys were learning - that girls were really funny about having sex and even funnier about sucking dick. True enough, a lot of them would rather suck dick and swallow than to risk getting pregnant or risk the wrath of their parents should it be discovered that they were sexually active; some girls preferred to be fucked in the ass but, really, getting a girl to agree to have sex was tough... but guys were more than willing to let another guy suck their dick and more so when, generally speaking, guys were more afraid of fucking/being fucked because as every knows, it really hurts going it.

I'd rather suck dick than to fuck/be fucked by a guy. And while this decision might sound like an easy one, it really wasn't because, at least in the beginning, I really liked being fucked just as much as I liked watching my boner squeezing into a guy's butt or, if I couldn't get it in, just being able to stick my dick between his butt cheeks and hump him until I made a sticky mess in his crack. I had, early on, realized that there were a lot of times I'd get fucked - good or bad - and, honestly? I really didn't feel like it... but I had felt like sucking dick more than anything else.

Even today, I often catch myself looking at guys and wondering what it would be like to blow them more than I think about what it would be like to have them in my ass.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]As you've seen, I've had an incredible journey as a bisexual and I've learned so much about people and sex and, perhaps, a bit more than the average person. Like everyone, I've had my ups and downs with this, from guileless bliss to those shitty moments that left me feeling used and dirty, making me second- and third-guess my decision to give up my body to a guy who really didn't have my pleasure in mind.

I learned to chalk it all up to lessons learned, learned to not let the setbacks steal the joy of sex I'd discovered - just one of many decisions I've had to make over the fifty-five years I've been actively bisexual. One of the biggest one was in the form of a question: Given a choice, which thing with a guy would you rather do?

Please note that I didn't use the word, "prefer;" I've come to have a dislike for it since another thing that I learned was that which I might prefer doesn't always match the reality of things and you don't always get what you want and in the way you want it. So I had to think about the answer to that question, rifle through my mind and look at every experience I could remember - both good and bad - and let my instincts guide me... and I realized that if I could only do one thing with a guy, it would be to suck his dick. But why?

It was the first thing I learned about sex with males. It was my "holy shit this is good" moment that landed on me the instant that man's dick slipped between my parted lips. I was seriously hooked on it, found the taste of semen and sperm to my liking and as I honed my ability I discovered how having a guy's dick in my mouth could turn the toughest guy into one who'd lose his mind as his sperm started pumping into my mouth. Being fucked was... nice. Exciting. Nasty good fun but the intimacy of it was lost on me because I didn't know it was supposed to be intimate and, well, it didn't move me like having a hard dick in my mouth did.

Being fucked was just part of the deal... but being able to wrap my mouth around a guy's prick and make him cum? Beyond priceless... and even in those moments where, after the fact, I felt shitty and very unclean.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]There's just no easy way to go about this that I know of. You can either be direct and right up front or you can do what I've seen a lot of guys do (and I've even done it): Figure out a way to bring the topic up and gently poke around to find out where their head is about it, dropping hints, all of that stuff and with the certain understanding that whatever they might say about the topic in general may or may not match their really personal point of view on it; some guys are okay with dudes having sex with dudes... as long as they're not being asked to participate.

Still comes down to how much you want to have sex with a friend... and what you're willing to risk toward that goal and desire. So there's nothing in this that I'd call "helpful hints" and I'll invoke yet another saying: You pays your money, you take your chances when dealing with the devil you know versus the one you don't know shit about.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]And the answer is pretty obvious: They didn't know how I'd react to a direct proposition... even if they'd known me for years. Sure, some of my friends were quite bold; they'd just start out with, "Hey, let me ask you something..." and I'd say okay, what - then I'd get blindsided big time to hear them say they've always wanted to suck my dick or hoped that I'd want to fuck them... and I'm standing (or sitting) there trying to unscramble my brain enough to respond. Or, sometimes, I'd have a friend start grilling me about my stance on guys having sex with other guys and I'm wondering - and have asked, "Where did this come from?"

Sometimes, I got grilled not because they wanted to do something with me but because they had another guy they had their eye on but, yeah, more often than not, I was their target - and not because they somehow knew I was into this but because they trusted me not to spaz out on them. Yeah... some suspected it, might have even heard a rumor or two... but if nothing else, I always had to admire the courage it took for them to bring this up and without really knowing how I'd react.

And, yeah, with some friends, I categorically denied it and mostly because I knew something about them that they didn't know that I knew (and it definitely wasn't something good) or, sometimes after listening to their proposition, I knew it would be a mistake to agree and get busy with him - my gut has rarely been wrong in such things. But I'd be polite when I turned them down; no point in getting all nasty and shitty with them about it. I've even told some friends to go home and really think some more about this and after they've thought about it, come on back and we'll talk about it again which also gave me time to really think about it myself.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]In my own experiences with this, I've guessed wrong about a few friends, some with no consequences, some resulting in the loss of a friend, making me think that we couldn't have been as close as stated if something like this trashed the friendship... but it is what it is and I learned to just move on. More often than not, however, I've been blindsided by friends who I was very sure weren't into this - then to find out that they were. And, sometimes, I also learned that they didn't have any interest in this... until they met me, making me wonder - and not for the first time - what it was about me that would tell someone that if, say, you wanted a guy to suck you off, I was the guy you needed to befriend and talk to.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]I still vividly remember the day when my best friend, while in the middle of an impromptu foursome, leaned over and started sucking on my dick. Granted - he was getting his dick sucked by his girlfriend and my wife so it was one of those "heat of the moment" things but, still, I was shocked because I thought I knew all there was to know about him, only to find this out even if you wanted to blame the moment. A couple of weeks later, I gave him a bro-job and not only did he not reject it, he sucked my dick like it was something we'd been doing all along.

You just never know. Still, regardless to how problematic this can be, when a guy gets interested in dick, it's usually a friend they turn to first - it's better the devil you know than the one you don't. Again, some guys are of a mind to preserve their friendships - why ruin a good thing? - so a stranger is their best bet; getting rejected by a stranger, while embarrassing, is of no real consequence unless the stranger gets violent about being propositioned... which is why a lot of guys would prefer to go with someone who is really a friend and the closer, the better.

A lot of guys have asked me how to ask a friend about this... and there is no sure-fire way that I know of to do this. Like I've shared, I've often sat back and laughed myself silly watching guys trying to drop hints to me about what's on their mind when, normally, they're usually pretty direct with the things they say. Then I get to laugh even more when I ask them, "Well, why didn't you just come out and say what you wanted in the first place?"[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I figured out that if nothing else, it's a trust issue; it's normal to trust someone you know more than someone you just met five minutes ago. The problem, however, is that we all have things about us that we won't trust anyone with... and having an interest in men is one of them. It's not quite like coming out even though, when trying to determine if your friend might be interested in letting you play with his dick, you're both "coming out" and making a proposition all at once. What you find that you don't know about your friend - and no matter how long you've known them - is whether they're going to be agreeable, disagreeable... or you're about to tell them something they already knew about you but never said anything.

I also learned that you can't always "believe" what a friend says. I've had many friends who'd rant and rave against guys doing guys and so much that I believed what they were saying was true... and then found out later that it was all bluster and protective covering... and sometimes they really did mean everything they said against it. It puts you in a very tough spot with a friend because you just don't know how he's gonna take what you have to say and are proposing...

While a stranger, well, in a lot of situations, they're more likely to make their intentions a bit more clearer... but now you're wondering if they're safe - and in any way you care to think about that - or not. One of the lessons one learns - and one, I think, should learn - is to trust their instincts and if your gut is telling you that this good-looking stranger would be a "bad" bed partner, trust it - and just walk away. But sometimes, your gut can be wrong, too, which makes this whole situation even more difficult to navigate.

More sayings: Fortune favors the bold; it's better to try and fail than to never try at all; nothing ventured, nothing gained and a whole lot more I could mention but the bottom line always comes down to this:

How badly do you want that dick... and what are you willing to risk in order to get it?[/SIZE][/FONT]