Confused as fuck!

[AnthofEngland]

I don't want to offend anyone here, I am aware that most people here are aware of their sexuality 100% and this is a community for full on bi people but I am considering the possibility I MIGHT be bisexual. I am from England, the home of sexually repressed haha :tongue: so I have nowhere to go and feel quite lonely in this.

Here's the deal-I'm a 20 something year old guy who has slept with women throughout my life. I have always been able to admit when another guy is hot (although people around me are uncomfortable with it) but lately it's become more intense.

I definitely like women-there's no confusion on that part. Loooove women, I'm attracted to them. But men, hmmm I wouldn't rule out experimenting, so long as I was the only one who knew. It feels so odd writing this as it's the 1st time I have ever been honest and tried to understand my feelings.

I'm so so confused because I'd class my self as very very open-minded. I feel physically sick when people are all homophobic, xenophobic, racist or what the hell ever else about shit. I believe as long as no one is hurting anyone in their actions-why should anyone judge or get uptight? So maybe I am just VERY open minded, or curious?

I went to a gay bar with a few work colleagues the other week and they laugh because I flirt with men even though I am "hetro." On this Ocassion the guy who chatted me up was extremely attractive and although I laughed it off, I was tempted to at least kiss him. He was a fucking oil painting. Fast forward a few days later-I'm in bed with a woman and that guy is a distant memory. What the fuck? Please be polite, I'm feeling very alone in this and this seems the only source. How do you "know" if you're bisexual or just open minded? Thanks!

[Long Duck Dong]

lol welcome to the site..

its a site for people that are straight, flexible, curious, bisexual, gay, and everything in between....so you fit right in......

ok.... finding a guy nice looking, attractive etc thats a aspect of people that is often over looking.... you do not have to be bi or gay to say * damm that is one attractive guy *.. its called admiring somebody... I do it all the time when I look in the mirror :tongue::tongue::tongue:

its in the same way that a lady can admire another lady, without being sexually attracted to them.....

now bisexuality and openminded, are the same thing, on a few levels..... and thats cos its not all about sex and sexuality.... many bisexual or bisexual minded people are no different to open minded people, in that we can spent time with a lot of people and enjoy their company......

so yeah... you meet somebody that has a energy and essence around them that can draw you into them, and bring out a aspect of you that feels so right..... and sure you want to give them a kiss.... cos it feels so right to kiss them.....

still doesn't make you bisexual, it makes you a person drawn to kiss another person..... and if you seek to go further than a kiss, and it turns into a sexual encounter, it still doesn't make you a bisexual.... as you may never have sex with another male again.....

what makes you a bisexual, is not the sex, the desire to suck a cock etc... its the aspect in you that guides you to seek out the company of a gender and than the attraction to some members of the gender......

you will have to excuse some of the people in the site that will tell you that OMG you are bisexual, you have to have sex with both genders... and that you are not allowed to be heteroflexible or bi curious......
half of them can not get laid and the other half get jealous cos others are getting laid.......

personally I believe that you are free to define your own sexuality.... and that only you truly know your own sexuality....

so ask yourself, would you be interested in going back to the gay bar and spending time with LGBT people to learn more about yourself....and understand how you feel about your self...... and I am not talking sexually,... as we all know about sex, but a lot of bisexuality is not about sex,.. its about people.......and not all bisexuals are in the suck, fuck and run club... many of us like friends that we never sleep with.......

[Realist]

First of all, welcome to the site! Hang around and read the past posts that may relate to your situation.

Don't panic, there's time for you to figure things out. I'm sure others will give you advice that makes more sense than this...............But this is my offering:

I think you might sit down and write down whatever you'd like to try with another male, what kind of guy you would feel comfortable with, and eliminate the things that don't interest you, or turns you off.

Then, if you still want to explore your bi-side, stick to your list. If you settle for less than you want, you will never get what you need out of an experience.

[AnthofEngland]

ok.... finding a guy nice looking, attractive etc thats a aspect of people that is often over looking.... you do not have to be bi or gay to say * damm that is one attractive guy *.. its called admiring somebody... I do it all the time when I look in the mirror :tongue::tongue::tongue:

HAHAHAHA! Oh Wow I think I'm even more confused-how complex! Yes I am willing to go back to the gay bar and explore myself however-I can't TRULY be myself when around everyone I know. I live in a very non-diverse everyone knows everyone kinda city.

So if I had sex with a man only once, but didn't want to go back-I wouldn't be bisexual?? What also doesn't help is when I compliment a guy and close family and friends say "I worry about you."

Hold on bastards-why would you WORRY about me if I was Bi?? Why would it worry you? Small minded shits. It makes me want to go fuck a man just to rock the boat ahaha.

Shit man, shit. Thanks for the reply matey! I'm leaving the country this year anyway, so stepping out of my bubble shall be interesting!

[AnthofEngland]

Hey man, thanks for the reply! I am having a go at writing it down now, I'm usually so emotionally aware so this is quite annoying as I am struggling with this. Yes I hope to find past posts similar to my own right now.

I suppose there isn't any rush but it's playing on my mind incredibly, thankfully there is a support group for absolutely everything on the web :)

Ufffffffffffff.

[tenni]

Hi
Don't worry about the label as much as what you want. "Open minded" works as well as bisexual...so does "fluid" If you are comfortable kissing a guy and that is where you are comfortable starting to explore M2M try it. If you have masturbated thinking about a guy and doing something with him..that's may be a sign of wanting more. Sometimes though fantasy does not necessarily match reality...you end up not liking the actual thing. Realists ideas are good.

I hope that you read the banner of the site. This is a site for bisexual men women and couples. That includes those who are not quite sure or wondering.

Don't believe the shite that LDD writes about that though....not specifically for straight people or gay people ..some are here though...:bigrin:

Relax if you can. Don't let others pressure you into trying things that you are not sure about or stop you from exploring /doing what you do want.
Cheers

[Long Duck Dong]

ok.... finding a guy nice looking, attractive etc thats a aspect of people that is often over looking.... you do not have to be bi or gay to say * damm that is one attractive guy *.. its called admiring somebody... I do it all the time when I look in the mirror :tongue::tongue::tongue:

HAHAHAHA! Oh Wow I think I'm even more confused-how complex! Yes I am willing to go back to the gay bar and explore myself however-I can't TRULY be myself when around everyone I know. I live in a very non-diverse everyone knows everyone kinda city.

So if I had sex with a man only once, but didn't want to go back-I wouldn't be bisexual?? What also doesn't help is when I compliment a guy and close family and friends say "I worry about you."

Hold on bastards-why would you WORRY about me if I was Bi?? Why would it worry you? Small minded shits. It makes me want to go fuck a man just to rock the boat ahaha.

Shit man, shit. Thanks for the reply matey! I'm leaving the country this year anyway, so stepping out of my bubble shall be interesting!

lmao.... more confused ??? lol

ok we have the social defined idea that guys can not think another guy is attractive or would be the type of guy that makes the ladies ( and guys ) drool...... to hell with that..... I will admire any guy that really stands out to me..... john cena is a guy with a well built body, personality and way of expressing himself..... but micheal clark duncan from the green mile movie.... hell yeah......

its not anything to do with being bisexual... its simply the fact that I can admire a male that stands out.........

yeah bisexuality is not about who you sleep with..... and I say that cos a drunken one off encounter and a consensual encounter with a male, could both have you labeled as bisexual even if you are actually a person that is heterosexual minded and a same sex encounter never happens again..... but most bisexuals see bisexuality as a long term aspect of who we are, not a 5 minute sexuality......

[Long Duck Dong]

I hope that you read the banner of the site. This is a site for bisexual men women and couples. That includes those who are not quite sure or wondering.

Don't believe the shite that LDD writes about that though....not specifically for straight people or gay people ..some are here though...:bigrin:



roflmao.... tenni your heterophobia is showing again......

[tenni]

Not a heterophobe duckie dudling.

I can read...you on the other hand seem to have problems with literacy and the purpose of this site?

Let's see if you sufficient self control to leave enough alone now. (without another post about your illiteracy)

[Long Duck Dong]

Not a heterophobe duckie dudling.

I can read...you on the other hand seem to have problems with literacy and the purpose of this site?

drews thread (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2147)

read this part... tenni.... darling...


In my experience, when bisexuality is discussed in the mainstream media we get a flood of new members. So I am sure we will have many new members today and in the coming days; most of them being bi and married or the spouse of a bisexual man or woman. So I thought a special warm welcome was in order. Bisexuality in marriage is a very complex issue and can be very difficult. So welcome to all of you.

strange how drew is welcoming people that are not bisexual.....

guess I can read that part just fine.......

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Awright you boys..sit down before ya hurt yerselves. One of these days ya'll are gunna soil yer toes with your pissing contests...:rolleyes:;)

Antho...Right at the moment you might be classified as Bi-Curious because you are just now exploring feeling that have been emerging. Dont worry about anyone else, just do what feels right for You. Go back to a gay bar, but go by yourself this time. Flirt, tease, explore. If you get a nice kiss,or more, then fantastic! It might be a great experiance, or it might be an ewww factor of 10--ya never know until you try it for yourself. Just go slow and let it happen naturally. :) The guys herer all gave you great advice, but follow your Own heart and mind and go from there.
Good luck sweetie ;)
Cat

[Coastocoast]

I had a lot of the same things you have going on now in the beginning myself and for me deciding that I was bisexual was a process. I have always been attracted to women and that will never change. I was certain that I was straight until I had a guy catch me by surprise once when he made a move on me. After that I was not so sure about my sexuality. I let some time go by and felt confused but I finally intentionally put myself into a position to find out for sure. I put myself out there and engaged a guy in a one on one conversation and we got to know each other. Finally the interactions between us made me begin to admit to myself that I might be bisexual. I have put my hand on a woman's leg in the past and I have usually known in an instant by her reaction what her interest level was or was not. I have had a woman put her hand on my leg and have always known in a moment what my interest was. One time while we were talking he put his hand on my leg during the conversation but I was not sure what my feelings were. I did not move his hand, my leg or respond. I was trying as hard as he was to gauge my reaction. Within a few minutes I realized I was still comfortable with the conversation and what was going on. I decided after that day I was most likely bisexual because I was still a peace when it was over. As our friendship progressed and I never discouraged what was happening. In my case and this may not be yours, it was my first sexual encounter that eventually occurred with him that made me sure. When I looked at the situation, took it through to an end without hesitation and was comfortable with it the next day, I was certain. If you want to know your own personal truth and are willing to accept the answer what ever it may be you will find it although it make take some time.

[AnthofEngland]

Cheers darling yes I think it's all very good advice and the lads need to behave :P

I'm more than happy to just go with what feels right but it is hard being who I want to be in my small group of friends. I'm leaving the country this year so this will prove vital to me. I suppose I know what the fuck I am in all other aspects; I'm opinionated and proud of every other fibre of my beliefs etc, so NOT knowing kind of pisses me off haha.

One thing's for sure-I'll update you guys, you are all so helpful. Thanks :)

[AnthofEngland]

I've not yet been put in a position where I could have a sexual encounter (no pun intended) but I am curious to how I could react. I was very tempted on that night with the guy to try something and I wasn't even that drunk.

Stepping away from my friends and the bubble I am in will surely give me fresh perspective on this. How long did it take you to have that "aha!" moment?! Thanks for your reply :)

[Hephaestion]

Awright you boys..sit down before ya hurt yerselves. One of these days ya'll are gunna soil yer toes with your pissing contests...:rolleyes:;)........

There are times when I absolutely adore you Cat

[tenni]

Sorry .....One last piss at the can.

"its a site for people that are straight, flexible, curious, bisexual, gay, and everything in between...."
(LDD)

"site for bisexual men, women and couples"
(banner)


"we will have many new members today and in the coming days; most of them being bi and married or the spouse of a bisexual man or woman."
(drew)

Not the same at all you daft illiterate (LDD)(post 10).

"Bi and married" indicates that the new member is bisexual. "spouse of a bisexual man or woman" again refers to bisexuality and not "gay" and "straight". This is not a site for gays and heterosexuals who are not a spouse of a bisexual.(inference level of reading comprehension that those heterosexuals and gays would have questions about their bisexual spouses)

Beyond that point, LDD used "straight" first in his statement which may show a telling aspect of LDD desires for priority on this site when added to a later accusation of "heterophobe" towards someone(moi) who points out his false desires/understanding. (that is mere conjecture though as to the intent of this quacker. He may just be...well quacky)

Maybe, LDD is "confused as fuck"?:eek: maybe?

[AnthofEngland]

I had to Google both of them blokes haha but of course I have seen the Green Mile. Wow you like your men BIG! My eyes are more drawn to David Beckham and David Ginola (your turn to google).

[darkeyes]

Sorry .....One last piss at the can.

"its a site for people that are straight, flexible, curious, bisexual, gay, and everything in between...."
(LDD)

"site for bisexual men, women and couples"
(banner)


"we will have many new members today and in the coming days; most of them being bi and married or the spouse of a bisexual man or woman."
(drew)

Not the same at all you daft illiterate (LDD)(post 10).

"Bi and married" indicates that the new member is bisexual. "spouse of a bisexual man or woman" again refers to bisexuality and not "gay" and "straight". This is not a site for gays and heterosexuals who are not a spouse of a bisexual.(inference level of reading comprehension that those heterosexuals and gays would have questions about their bisexual spouses)

Beyond that point, LDD used "straight" first in his statement which may show a telling aspect of LDD desires for priority on this site when added to a later accusation of "heterophobe" towards someone(moi) who points out his false desires/understanding. (that is mere conjecture though as to the intent of this quacker. He may just be...well quacky)

Maybe, LDD is "confused as fuck"?:eek: maybe?

Will not comment on the second and third paras, tenni.. thats tween u an Duckie.. but as 2 the first part? Christ what absolute bollox u do speak at times.. do u think bi people have so many heterosexual allies that when they do show interest, just because they are not the spouse or partner of a bi person, and do want to learn about bisexuality, and maybe even offer you support in the battle for recognition and equality that you tell them to fuck off? You didnt mention gay people but gay people who have no familial or personal interest in bisexuals, even allowing we all go under the lgbt banner? The same presumably goes for them. We need straight people on our side.. only because we have straight people on our side, whether we are gay, bi or transgendered can we ever hope to continue our progress.. so I suggest that finally you drop this intolerent and rather stupid short sighted claptrap, and welcome straight people onto this little site and its community.. believe it or not.. we need them far, far more than they will ever need us..

[tenni]

darkeyes
I've moved my response to your post to a more appropriate thread created about drew on this issue. "Welcome New Members and Info for Bi Married Folks and Spouses"

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Well thank you, Hep. Its nice to be appreciated for one's silliness sometimes..lol;):bigrin::cool:
Cat

[darkeyes]

darkeyes
I've moved my response to your post to a more appropriate thread created about drew on this issue. "Welcome New Members and Info for Bi Married Folks and Spouses"

fine.. but I doubt Drew would be on ur side nonetheless on the issue.. I'll stick here ta.. but if need be will argue there an all..