age difference

[TxGuy]

I've got it bad for this 19y/o guy that I met last week, but I feel like I don't have a chance because of my age, which is 27. I'm sure it's different for everyone, but does age difference mean more, or less with bi dating opposed to strait dating. Every woman I've dated has been within a couple years of my age. I've never dated anyone born outside of my generation and was just wondering.

thoughts?

[Chris_]

not sure, depends on the people involved i suppose. ask and see what he says if he is bi or gay

[I_P_On_MY_Nutz]

hi all

he wud enjoy maybe enjoy the age difference and be willing to cum for yu.
May all u camels be healthy...

Tanks

[TxGuy]

not sure, depends on the people involved i suppose. ask and see what he says if he is bi or gay



he is gay, and out if that matters.

[I_P_On_MY_Nutz]

hi

i am new also
u cud maybe also write heem a letr an tell heem whut u tink uv him.

Gud luck gringo... :tongue: i make a funy face... hehehehe

may all u camels b healthy

[Chris_]

well if he is gay ask him, dont come on all pushy just calmly ask him what he thinks of the idea, if he says no then he says no its not meant to happen. i think it should be fine tho it all depends on his view on age difference

[ambi53mm]

I've got it bad for this 19y/o guy that I met last week, but I feel like I don't have a chance because of my age, which is 27. I'm sure it's different for everyone, but does age difference mean more, or less with bi dating opposed to strait dating. Every woman I've dated has been within a couple years of my age. I've never dated anyone born outside of my generation and was just wondering.

thoughts?

I don't think sexual orientation has much to do with the pros or cons of age difference. I've dated both male and female with double the gap in age than the eight years you refer to in this situation and it's never been an obstacle.
Maturity on their part and the lack of it on mine usually bridged the gap of the chronolical difference. Project ahead 40 years from now and you'd be 67 and he's be 59 the one noticable thing you'd have in common is that you'd both be old LOL Eight years between 67 and 59 is one thing. eight years between 19 and 11 is another but it's not the age gap, it the experience and maturity level that matters :2cents:

Ambi :)

[mistymockingbird]

Gay, straight, or bi it just depends on the people involved. I've always dated older folks. When I was 16 I dated someone who was 25. I'm 29 now and am romantically involved with two men, one who is 46, one who is 51. I've certainly had periods where I've gotten frustrated and wondered why I can't find someone closer to my own age, then I meet someone my age and get bored quickly. I personally want someone with some life experience.

That being said, what is important is the other person's level of maturity, not so much their age in numbers. My best friend always says, "it's not the rings around the tree, it's the times around the block that count." I love that. There are 20 year olds in this world that are much more mature than some 50 year olds I know. Age is arbitrary. So if you like the guy and he likes you, just go for it. Don't worry about age so much.

[Dr.StrangeLove]

I'd tell him...I've got the hots for an eighteen year old right now, (i'm 24) and he identifies as straight...thing is, we've flirted a little, so I'm not convinced he's straight. If he was gay I'd go for it in a second. But I understand how you feel right now.

So in other words, I think you should go for it and see what he says, even though its probably driving you crazy thinking about it. Good luck!

[darkeyes]

It is not the age of the body which is important but what lies in the heart of the lover.

Hellen T Elliot - circa 2000

[TxGuy]

thanks for all the feedback. sometimes it's nice to hear what i already knew i needed to do. which is talk to him, tell him how i feel.

yeah, 40 years from now I'll be 67 to his 59 which wont seem like so much, but it's just that I remember my sexual preference when I was 19. Anyone over 25 might has well been collecting social security. well maybe not that bad, but you know what I mean.

[Rick30907]

I've got it bad for this 19y/o guy that I met last week, but I feel like I don't have a chance because of my age, which is 27. I'm sure it's different for everyone, but does age difference mean more, or less with bi dating opposed to strait dating. Every woman I've dated has been within a couple years of my age. I've never dated anyone born outside of my generation and was just wondering.

thoughts?
================================================== =======

Well, everybody here has give you some good ideas, but I'm wondering what you have NOT said about this. You say you met the man, but where, when, how, in what circumstances? And did you feel any "vibes"? Did he seem "interested" in you? Would it be practical for you to invite him over to your place or to go out for a beer or something "non-pushy" like that? Since hot weather is here now, maybe going swimming together someplace private would give you or him or both the chance to do the old-fashioned "seduction" thing. I'd try something like that before I just came right out and told him what I felt. I'm sure you can think of something to get him alone with you if he's at all interested, which he very well might be, since TONS of young peeps are totally into hangin' with an "older" man. And BTW, y'all are NOT from different generations, as you seem to think. A "generation" is generally considered 20 to 25 years, so y'all ARE part of the SAME generation. Just take things slow & easy, try a bit of old-fashioned seduction, and you just might be pleasantly surprised at the results. Anyway, best wishes. Let us know how things go--and by that, I mean DETAILS...

[DiamondDog]

In the queer world you have to understand that age differences aren't that big of a deal as they are in heterosexual society.

Relationships like this can be common with queer men and women.

A gay friend and I were laughing about how heterosexuals seem to get REALLY weirded out about the idea of a relationship between two partners who are 5, 10, 15, or 20 years apart.

I'm 24 and I've been involved with men of all ages and I'm attracted to older guys. Not geriatric age or higher than 50 but guys who are in their mid/late 30s or early 40s. I also like guys that are around my age who look/act older like me.

I have a friend that is 49 and he isn't a chickenhawk but he did wind up having sex with an 18 year old guy who wanted his first time having sex to be with my friend.

As long as both people are over 18 I don't see what the big deal is.

[arana]

It's not the age (as long as it's not with a minor) or sexual orientation that makes the difference, it's the compatibility and maturity level of the two people that matters.

[Herbwoman39]

Some people actually *prefer* todate older men and women. The woman I've been talking to for the last five months is 24. I'm 40. She really likes older women so the age difference is a non-issue for us.

Now if she could just decide what she wants we'll all be happy campers.

[Lisa (va)]

I really don't think a persons sexuality matters when it comes to being comfortable with age differences (legal, of course): some may find older folks more suited to them, or younger, or close in age. I also don't think it is as much an issue to the partners so much as it is to others; my husband and I have heard snooty comments because he is older than I am (currently 20 & 42), but those that we associate treat us just like any other couple. Basicially it's just a matter of individual preferences.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[bigirl_inwv]

I don't think that it's the age that matters. Like many have already said, I think it's the maturity level. I'm 19 and I barely tolerate most people my age. All my friends are 25 or older, my fiance is 27, and every woman that I have been with has been over 25. Most people that I meet are very surprised when I tell them that I'm only 19. I couldn't count the times that people have told me that I act older than what I really am. I say, if he's interested, and you have things in common, and the age difference isn't an issue for either of you....go for it.

[LoveLion]

I say, if he is over 18, and is willing, then there is nothing wrong with it at all, even if your 99

[BreeIsMe]

AS everyone has mentioned, the exact age (over 18 of course) is not important; it is the compatibility

However, many gay men don't like "older" guys but by "older" i mean usually over 40

and if you are separate by more than 15-20 years, its certainly harder to find "common" experiences in terms of culture, etc but I am sure it can be done

an 88 year old and 18 year old....???
well that might be kind of extreme
better in that circumstance to find someone closer to your own age unless you are like Anna Nicole Smith...

LOL


Bree

[TxGuy]

================================================== =======

Well, everybody here has give you some good ideas, but I'm wondering what you have NOT said about this. You say you met the man, but where, when, how, in what circumstances? And did you feel any "vibes"? Did he seem "interested" in you? Would it be practical for you to invite him over to your place or to go out for a beer or something "non-pushy" like that?


Details.... He is part of my roomates cirlcle of friends (friend of his girlfriend) and he hangs out at my place sometimes when she's around. As far as vibes, he's tough to read cause he's comes off as really shy. We have caught each other looking at the other the few times we've met though. But other than that I have no other indication he is interested.

I do have quite a few in-roads to take and I definitly plan on taking one of them. Bad timing though with the end of the spring semester coming up I probaly wont get to see him until college lets out. I will keep everyone posted.

[Luvboth]

This may not address your problem directly but here's my opinion and experience. Many younger people are missing out on the best experiences of their life's because they set a road block simply by the age barrier. I am much older than any of you that have posted and perfer younger simply on the bases that I relate better with younger people than my own age group.

It has been my experience that my younger partners are more satisfied with having been with me than with many their age; I am talking both men and women. I meet a lot of married bimen and women simply because they need descretion and who better than a retired gent. Folks I am talking about as much a age spread of 30 years. I have also brought out the second party of the marriage when told their soulmate is curious but hasn't been able to come to terms with it. Today on a regular bases I am involved with a couple in their mid 30's (over 30 years younger than me) and have a bi woman sharing partner when she is not traveling, also 30 years younger.

Does age make a difference? Only if you want to let it. I say when the ocassion arises where you have interest and the other may have interest reach for it and try it once, the rest will be history. And hey all you younger people give the older a chance and you'll find out what you really want or need.

[biwords]

My one same-sex relationship took place when I was 23 and my partner was 46. We both found the age difference hotted up things considerably....

[scubaman]

It is not the age of the body which is important but what lies in the heart of the lover.

Hellen T Elliot - circa 2000


Darkeyes hit the nail on the head. My wife and I have been married 12 years and I am 20 yrs older. She was bored with guys her age, too immature she says. My motto. " If it feels good do it."

[darkeyes]

Not me hun..my sister...her words..but they seem 2 fit the bill dont they?

[scubaman]

How was a guy to know! But, yes they do! Thanks

[deletetacount123]

I agree... age doesn't matter....
Its more of the maturity level people usually go for.

Im 27 but I remember back in school, people my age didn't want to hang around me cause I just seemed "too old" for them lol I was like "everyone's mother" just cause Im more mature than they were hehe

I find I get along well with people older than me but there are some younger people who seem more mature for thier age.
I have a very young apperances so Im often asked for my age and get surprised looks.

I think as long as you both feel the same way, age shouldn't have anything to do with it.

For me, I keep trying to find someone who looks young ... cause I can just see myself with a older woman.... people going "oooh is that your mother/daughter? aunt/niece??" just cause she looks older and I look young lol
BUT I think whoever I fall in love with, it will be cause I love them.. not how they look or how old they are.... its the inside that counts and I'll just have to deal with the silly old/young comments hehe

Tasha

[12voltman59]

Over the years-I have tended to date ladies who were older than me--sometimes by a signifcant number of years

For example--when I was in my early 20s I had dated one woman who was over 40--I almost married a gal who was 15 years older than me---

Most of my signficant relationships have been with someone older than myself-only one time did I have one significant relationship where she was younger than me---they have at least been my same age if not older....

I really do wonder if I could date someone signifcantly younger than myself---

I would think that I was "robbing the cradle" --for me-my cut off age is probably around 25 at the youngest.

Not to say that if the right person came along I would not date her or him--I just find it unlikely though----

I have always looked on with both a sense of humor and perhaps disgust when I see these guys fairly well along in life who have their 'trophy" girlfriends or boyfriends for that matter---

I sort of found it pathetic in a way with those guys--usually very rich who I think--basically "buy" that trophy partner with the money they throw at them---I think it is an attempt to prove they are "still a virile man" who can still have a hottie at their side and in bed--

But then again--I have learned--one is highly advised to "never say never."

If I found someone in their early to mid-20s who I did feel we had much in common and all of that--well-I would probably be with them--but not without some trepidation though....

I have no problem in being with someone in their 50s or 60s though--since hopefully--I'll make it to those ages too.