coyotedude
Jul 18, 2010, 7:10 PM
So with all this discussion recently about monogamy, I thought I'd share my weird weekend with this wacky crew.
On Friday night, I met Mrs. Coyote and the pups at the home of some very close friends (my "uncle", as a matter of fact) and their family for a BBQ. My uncle and his family are taking the first steps down the difficult road of divorce; my uncle's wife and step-daughter have already moved out, while my uncle and the two other children remain behind for now. All five of them were present for the BBQ, but drama and tension filled the air the entire night. It was heartbreaking to watch the 7 year old son melt down when his mother and half-sister were trying to leave for the night - to watch the mother's tears as she left, to console the father who was letting his own tears flow despite his tough guy biker persona.
On Saturday night, Mrs. Coyote, the pups, and I were a hundred miles away attending the wedding of another dear friend. Our friend is a year old than me; she has been searching for her one true love for more than 20 years. Amazingly, she finally found him a few years back; last night was the declaration of their commitment to one other, the first marriage for either of them. It was a beautiful ceremony in a quaint chapel overlooking an absolutely gorgeous river valley, the mountains offering their own powerful blessings from the distance.
The events of this weekend have made me think a lot about my own relationship with Mrs. Coyote. We have been married nearly 14 years now; those 14 years have had their share of challenges. My cancer, my bouts with deep depression, my occasional desires for male sex, her struggles with intimacy are just a few of the obstacles that we have had to confront over the years.
Yet what we have together is precious. Our relationship has grown and blossomed over the years despite the inevitable times of drought. Knowing that there is one person in this world who has your back despite your shortcomings and flaws is not only comforting, but liberating as well. For my part, I draw strength from the commitment I have with Mrs. Coyote, and in turn I offer her my strength and comfort when she needs it.
I am not perfect. Those who have seen me in chat know that I am a big flirt. And in a fit of madness several months back I even toyed with the idea of leaving Mrs. Coyote to explore physical and emotional relationships with men. Thankfully, I have not gone through with the idea. Instead, Mrs. Coyote and I have been going through counseling over the past few months, working to strengthen our relationship. As much as I may desire sex with men, the fact is that I love my partner in life. I can't give that up.
I do not offer this as an example of how everyone should live. There are many paths in life that each of us is called to walk. I admire those who can make a swinging or poly relationship actually work - that they can be secure enough in themselves and their relationships with their partners to not allow jealousy to poison the well of their affection for each other.
These are just the observations of one fool coyote who is trying to make his way in this world. Please take what you like and leave the rest.
Peace
On Friday night, I met Mrs. Coyote and the pups at the home of some very close friends (my "uncle", as a matter of fact) and their family for a BBQ. My uncle and his family are taking the first steps down the difficult road of divorce; my uncle's wife and step-daughter have already moved out, while my uncle and the two other children remain behind for now. All five of them were present for the BBQ, but drama and tension filled the air the entire night. It was heartbreaking to watch the 7 year old son melt down when his mother and half-sister were trying to leave for the night - to watch the mother's tears as she left, to console the father who was letting his own tears flow despite his tough guy biker persona.
On Saturday night, Mrs. Coyote, the pups, and I were a hundred miles away attending the wedding of another dear friend. Our friend is a year old than me; she has been searching for her one true love for more than 20 years. Amazingly, she finally found him a few years back; last night was the declaration of their commitment to one other, the first marriage for either of them. It was a beautiful ceremony in a quaint chapel overlooking an absolutely gorgeous river valley, the mountains offering their own powerful blessings from the distance.
The events of this weekend have made me think a lot about my own relationship with Mrs. Coyote. We have been married nearly 14 years now; those 14 years have had their share of challenges. My cancer, my bouts with deep depression, my occasional desires for male sex, her struggles with intimacy are just a few of the obstacles that we have had to confront over the years.
Yet what we have together is precious. Our relationship has grown and blossomed over the years despite the inevitable times of drought. Knowing that there is one person in this world who has your back despite your shortcomings and flaws is not only comforting, but liberating as well. For my part, I draw strength from the commitment I have with Mrs. Coyote, and in turn I offer her my strength and comfort when she needs it.
I am not perfect. Those who have seen me in chat know that I am a big flirt. And in a fit of madness several months back I even toyed with the idea of leaving Mrs. Coyote to explore physical and emotional relationships with men. Thankfully, I have not gone through with the idea. Instead, Mrs. Coyote and I have been going through counseling over the past few months, working to strengthen our relationship. As much as I may desire sex with men, the fact is that I love my partner in life. I can't give that up.
I do not offer this as an example of how everyone should live. There are many paths in life that each of us is called to walk. I admire those who can make a swinging or poly relationship actually work - that they can be secure enough in themselves and their relationships with their partners to not allow jealousy to poison the well of their affection for each other.
These are just the observations of one fool coyote who is trying to make his way in this world. Please take what you like and leave the rest.
Peace