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  1. A straight but flexible point of view

    by , Feb 4, 2012 at 5:46 PM (DD's Corner This and That and in between)
    I never really understood what it felt like to be the odd one out until I came to I was straight as an arrow and deeply in love with my partner, a bisexual male, or as I like to say with a male that just happens to be bisexual. When he first told me about his being bisexual, ironically enough by sending me to the site to view his profile, I wasn't shocked. We had met in a PG13 chat room and sometimes the things he said made me wonder. We married in that game and I found he treated me better than my real life husband, the little things like remembering upcoming events that were important to me really opened my eyes up. When I got over the fear of being alone and told my unfaithful husband I wanted a divorce I found I was never really alone at all. Within two weeks my partner and I became a sexually involved cybering couple and love grew that culminated in me going to NZ 8 months after we started being involved to see if it was real. It was. I am now happily making plans to move to New Zealand and he is ready to get married for the first time in his real life.

    What gets frustrating for me is the amount of people who view us as an "internet relationship", clearly these people don't understand that when you are honest with someone love can really bloom online and it can even be stronger than anyone who meets up at a bar or any other place in real life. We cyber, we phone, we exchange some very intense erotic stories and all in all we have a better sex life than some couples who actually share a bed together.

    I have slowly begun to realize through long talks with him that I am not purely straight even though I have no sexual attraction at all to females. But some of the scenarios we discuss sound very interesting and I am open to the idea of some contact in the future as part of something we share as a couple. So I call myself heteroflexible, to me that means I am straight but I have an open mind. I am not rigid in my sexuality as some are and defend my right to call myself by a label I self identify by.

    There are times I wish a certain few posters would understand that what works for them doesn't work for all and not everything posted in wikipedia is applicable to all people. We are all unique and we all have quirks and we all deserve to be given the opportunity to be who we are fully without anyone judging or thinking we are lying to ourselvs or in denial about bisexuality. If I was bisexual, I'd proudly claim it, but I'm not. I'm heteroFLEXIBLE, yes emphasis on the flexible. I am me and that's all I ever want to be is me.:tongue:
  2. Maybe Change isn't so bad after all......

    Change is on the front burner for those of us here at as we navigate our way through a new, and, IMO, improved website. (Thanks Drew!) I am pleasantly surprised as to how quickly I adapted to the new format since I have never considered myself technically savvy. I was a computer novice and an internet virgin when I first arrived at over five years ago. A lot has changed since that day when I first logged on and while I am excited about my new found comfort with the internet and all things computer related, I am mostly excited about the changes that have taken place with me personally.

    When I joined, I had a very happy marriage and a very full and satisfying sex life, but I had turned a blind eye to the fact that my husband was bisexual. He told me the night that he proposed to me and even though he had been monogamous with me, the very thought of it frightened me. I knew very little about bisexuality but I knew enough to be frightened of how it might affect me or my marriage. I needed to learn...I needed to understand....I needed to allow him to be able to talk to me about it and share it with me without him feeling guilty or me feeling afraid. I felt I owed it to him....I owed it to me...I owed it to US. After visiting a few other websites, I chose this one and I remember how nervous I was when I first clicked that button to enter the chat room. I had never been to a chat room of any kind at that point and I had no idea what would be awaiting me when that screen popped up. Would there be a sexual free for all going on? Would I be inundated with sexual advances from both men and women? Or even worse, would I be automatically shunned when they found out I was straight??? Instead of finding the aforementioned scenarios, I was greeted quite warmly and embraced and at that moment, my love affair with this site began. I began to find myself comfortable among the chatters and I realized that they were no different than anyone else that I had associated with in the past. I soon found myself making some wonderful friends and over the next several years, I spent a great deal of time with those friends in that chat room, probably too much time, but I loved every single minute of it. They never made me feel out of place....they never hesitated to explain things to me....and they never tried to change me. (although there was the running joke about the super secret sexual conversion team that was going to take me aside and "bend" me.)

    After a while, I was able to lose my fears of what was previously unknown to me and I slowly discovered that my world, as well as my own sexuality was opening up. I became a lot more adventurous in bed (much to my hubby's delight). I began to incorporate his fantasies into my own. Together, as a loving couple, we began to develop new fantasies, we experimented with toys, and eventually, at my suggestion, not his, we opened up our relationship. As a result, we have become closer as a couple. We play as a couple, something we both agreed on and feel more comfortable with. During this evolution of our relationship, I found myself becoming a bit more aware of my own sexuality and I was finally able to admit that I was bisexual as well...something that I had suspected, but suppressed, for many, many years. So to all my friends who may have noticed...YES...I have indeed changed my Kinsey score and NO...I have NOT had sex with a woman. BUT I can finally admit who I really am (it does make for some lovely fodder for some lovely fantasies.:tong:) I'm not saying it will never happen...but who knows? All I know is that I have this site and the people who come through it's portals to thank for accepting me and allowing me to be a part of it. I know we sometimes complain....I know we sometimes have fights, but all in all, it is a lovely community full of lovely people and I am all the better for having been a part of it.

    Updated Mar 3, 2012 at 1:37 PM by csrakate

  3. bisexuality on tv and in movies, lost in translation.....

    I have often heard / read about how we need to educate people about being bisexual and showing them how we think, feel and express ourselves.... and using media such as tv and movies, will serve to educate them.....

    out in the public eye, being bisexual, being proud, being visible, being on tv and in movies, can be as confusing as hell, to other people, and the reason for that, is that bisexuals work by a set of rules that is as fluid as some bisexuals sexuality and one of the biggest problems is trying to convince people that what they are seeing is what we are doing but what they call it is wrong, what we call it is right.....

    " monogamy is wrong " is a common catch phrase from people regardless of sexuality, and " that is proven by nature as much of the animal kingdom is not monogamous "..... and that is true and correct.... but much of the animal kingdom work on the principal of survival, not going to dating sites.... and within lion prides and wolf packs, its only the * top dog * that gets a leg over, something that is often ignored by people that talk about monogamy in the animal kingdom, something that I find quite amusing...... its like having cheese and crackers without the crackers....

    that leads people to the understanding that no bisexual on tv can be in a relationship with a partner and have it work.... cos thats a big NO NO in tv land.... you have to have drama and issues.... and oh baby, bisexuals are a very good *toy* for tv execs

    part of the conception that people have about bisexuals is that bisexuals can not be committed to a person or faithful..... the issue that some bisexual face, is conveying to people that a bisexual can be committed to a person and faithful to a person, but that the commitment and faithfulness only applies on some levels, not others, and therefore a bisexual is happily committed and faithful to one person and not the other ten people that they have slept with in the last year......

    in movies and tv shows, its so hard to convey that type of thinking, as its more often a long drawn out period of talking between partners...and in the world of tv where a day can pass in 5 minutes, its often easier just to portray the bisexual as in and out of beds faster than a shopaholic goes in and out of shops with a gold visa.... then telling people that we can and are committed to our partners and we worked out a understanding with our partners over the last couple of months ( 7 minutes in tv terms and 23 minutes of yelling, screaming, door slamming, talking to the hot neighbor, passionate sympathy sex, then back to the partner for a kiss and make up scene... until next episode )

    the issue is that many people already have a understanding of having extra partners, they call it fucking around / sleeping around, and that creates issues for bisexuals as its not a nice thing to be told that you are fucking around on your partner, but it is confusing for other people when we use the understanding that we are not fucking around on our partners, we are committed and faithful to our partners while we are having sex with other people......

    the trouble that can arise, is that peoples views are often very different when they are looking in the mirror and then looking out the window.... and while they can see issues with others behievour, they may well not see any issues with their own and so we often see the * its not my fault I had sex with other people * statement about themselves v's the * that person is just a bed jumping freak * about others....

    there is no simple and easy way to portray bisexuality in tv and movies, without making bisexuals look like they are just going from bed to bed to bed.... tho it seems to be ok for heterosexual people to do that a lot on some of the programs I have watched over the years.... once such program in NZ is called shortland street, a program based around a med clinic.... and one of my friends told me that they can not name a character in that series ( excluding underage people ) that has not either cheated on or slept with at lest two other characters in the series....

    interestingly enuf there was a lesbian couple, faithful, committed and monogamous, until one female came out as bisexual, and within two weeks of the show, she had cheated on her partner with 2 other females, shagged a male doctor and was hitting on a male hospital executive..... a few of my bisexual friends wrote rather angry letters about the portrayal of a bisexual on the show, to the studio and the way it portrayed bisexuals as bed bunnies.... and promptly got ignored.....

    it raised the issue within my group of LGBT friends as how the hell do you protray bisexuals in the media ( tv and movies ) without them looking like they will shag anything that moves and even some things that don't...... and it appeared that the easier way was to portray a bisexual person with two partners, one of each sex....... the studio refused to go for that as it was too much of a unbelievable storyline ( inside info )...... WTF ???????????

    so we come to the issue of portraying bisexuality in tv and movies is not going to be as easy as we may like to we can not accurately capture the issues of coming out to partners and long term talking and compromising, so we are left with the bed hopping image of the bisexual that is confused and constantly horny......

    so we have the issue of people looking at bisexuals on tv and in movies and saying " see, bisexuals can not commit to their partners, they will constantly sleep around with other people, and we are saying, no they can committed to their partners, they are just having sex with other people...... some bisexuals call it bisexual monogamy and no they are not politicians, some call it open compromise in a relationship and some call it a working bisexual relationship....... bisexuals like me, call it TV and wonder why we watch it.......

    so how do we not confuse people about bisexuality on tv and in the movies ? I have no bloody idea.... but I know a few 1000 people that will complain about how any bisexual is portrayed.... and it kinda makes me wonder why we use the media to portray something that may well do us a disservice anyway by enforcing the idea in peoples heads that we can not be committed and faithful ( be it bisexual monogamy or monogamy, or a compromised and working open relationship etc ) and that we are nothing but bed hopping people, instead of people that enjoy the beds of other people of either gender and the bed of our own partner.....

    Updated Mar 3, 2012 at 6:21 AM by Long Duck Dong

  4. Woot good day!!!

    by , Jul 27, 2012 at 10:18 PM (DD's Corner This and That and in between)
    Woke up to a nice 10 pound water weight loss and jeans fit.. jeans not elastic waist but actual button and zip the fly jeans. Celebrated by doing laundry and actually walked down the stairs instead of taking elevator to put them clothes from washer to dryer.

    Breathing is still doing well and hopefully as I am able to be more active I can deal with the other issues going on with the meds and side effects.

    Hugs y'all and goes off to suck another mint before I want a cig to celebrate!!!
  5. Never Been to Me

    by , Aug 6, 2012 at 9:37 PM (DD's Corner This and That and in between)
    This song has long just touched something in me, hope it does for you as well. Enjoy.

  6. Couple really cool art vids, enjoy :D

    by , Aug 10, 2012 at 9:56 AM (DD's Corner This and That and in between)

    Updated Aug 10, 2012 at 10:02 AM by DuckiesDarling

  7. Sighs... I swear there was nothing about Twilight but....

    by , Sep 11, 2012 at 5:27 PM (DD's Corner This and That and in between)
    Now, I have to eat my words. I have discovered a major lust for the character of Miles Matheson in Revolution. (sorry babe but I gots to be honest lol)

    He did play in Twilight but I am so willing to overlook that and enjoy Billy Burke's portrayal of Miles... I mean sexy to the extreme and I won't ruin it with a body count for those that are still waiting for the Sept 17th premiere, my cable had it on demand for Comcast customers to see it before it airs on TV.

    In doing a bit of research i found the Twilight thing... but also that he is a self taught musician. He has a single out called Pollyanna Rose about his wife, so enjoy while I have some very nice daydreams about his character.


    Updated Sep 11, 2012 at 5:45 PM by DuckiesDarling

  8. How come it's so hard to find a buddy to enjoy good times with as well as sex?

    [SIZE=4]I have been searching for a male friend for a good long time. I am beginning to think this may be a lost cause. I am a 69 year old married bi sexual. My wife is not and does not know I am bi sexual. Her health is poor and due to that we do not engage in sexual activities any longer. We have been together for a long time and I am not going to do or take a chance on hurting her. I am very carefully with what I do and want to find some one in the same boat as myself, I'm not sure their is anyone else out there like me. What do y'all think?[/SIZE]
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