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  1. The "Girls" - Part III

    [FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It wasn't all that often when our horny group would include all four of the "girls" but when they were all there, sometimes, little arguments would break out over who'd get to do it to one of them. Clearly, we had our favorites in this and with Charlie leading the vote for most of us. Charlie would be like, "I don't care who does it to me - somebody get over here!" while Carl, Sam, and Jackie would often be more... discerning about who among us they wanted to fuck them.

    I didn't blame them since I knew that some of the guys, well, they just didn't seem to get the hang of doing it "right" for some reason. Still, those guys could do it to me anyway and, when I'd think about them later in my life, it was probably the beginning of that moment where, sometimes, I'd just kinda laid there and let them do it to me while silently wishing that they'd hurry up and shoot their stuff in me. I mean, it wasn't that bad... it just wasn't that really comfortable things that would make and keep me nice and relaxed and the way a lot of the other guys could make me feel.

    I was also learning that it was frustrating to want a guy to fuck you... and he just wasn't going to do it no matter how much you begged and pleaded with them. Sam got mad with me once about that and said, "If you can't ask Belinda to do it to you, then you can't ask me to do it to you, okay? Are we gonna do it or not?"

    I guess he told me, huh? I was quickly learning that while us guys liked having sex with each other - and many of us were - in today's terms - versatile, not all of us were. In a way, it defied that sense of fairness we seemed to have; if you sucked my dick, it went without saying that I was gonna suck yours. Likewise, if you fucked me, there was no question or doubt about me fucking you in return. That's just the way it was... but I learned - we all did - that when "the girls" were involved, that fairness was out of the question. Back to Charlie for a moment, if I may?

    Inside My Bi Mind
  2. The "Girls" - Part II

    [FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]There were three other guys who wanted to be the girl but, again and today, I wouldn't say they were gay since they'd fuck a girl easily enough; it was just when they were hanging out with any of us, they only wanted to suck dick and take it in the ass. I don't know why they didn't wanted to be sucked but one of them told me that he didn't like to fuck because it didn't feel right to him... but having one of us on top of him and fucking him was what really worked.

    They were just as rough and tumble as the rest of us were (except for Charlie) and if a girl wanted to do it, they were all for it. But when it was just us guys, well, Charlie had some competition, not that they could hold a candle to him; let's say that they weren't as eager as Charlie always was but, yeah, if sex was happening and any of the three of them were around, you could find them on their belly or on their back and with a dick in their butt.

    I was hanging out with Sam one day - one of the three other "girls" - and I asked him why he never wanted his dick sucked and why he wouldn't fuck. He just shrugged and said that he just wasn't interested in those parts and that he liked it when we'd shoot in his mouth and his butt better. He made it clear that he wasn't a sissy like Charlie but he just liked being the one to suck dick, swallow sperm, and get fucked.

    It was a shame, too, because he had a short but fat dick that I would have loved to suck and feel in my ass.

    Carl was another guy like Sam but we all thought he was the way he was because he had five older brothers and he told me one day that they did it to him so much that he never thought about being the one to do it and, I thought - and knowing his brothers - they probably didn't give him a choice in the matter but I also thought that they didn't bully him into it and he did say that whenever one of them wanted to do it, he was very happy to let them do whatever they wanted to do.

    Jackie, who was probably a bit more like Charlie, once told me that he was glad he was really a boy because if he was a girl, he would have been "in trouble" (read that as pregnant) a lot of times. I remember laughing at that so hard I fell off the short wall we had been sitting on. Unlike Carl, Jackie had said that he tried doing it but he just didn't like it but he did like having his dick sucked but, sometimes, he just didn't and he wasn't able to explain it.

    "Just stick it in me and do it until you shoot," he said as he stepped out of his shorts and underwear. "I like doing it with you because you make it hurt but it feels good when it does." Jackie was one of the few guys who'd only do it in the missionary position and as I fucked him, he had said that he liked doing it this way the best because he could look at whoever was fucking him and liked being able to wrap his arms and legs around the guy.

    Inside My Bi Mind
  3. The "Girls" - Part I

    [FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]As I recall, at the height of our boy-on-boy debauchery, there were twenty of us who were up to the top of our heads sucking dick and/or fucking and some of them just a bit outside of the four-block area we considered to be our neighborhood.

    We had just one guy - Charlie - who was "girly gay" and many of us had thought that his two sisters, for some reason, had turned him into a girl. If you think I was a shameless whore, Charlie was even more so; once, he showed up where we were hanging out and trying to decide what kind of trouble we could get into, looked at the six of us, smiled. and said, "I got something for y'all to do - you can all do it to me!"

    We pounced on him like a pack of starving wolves and Charlie was in heaven to suck all of us and have all of us fuck him for a couple of rounds and had it not been for us having to go home for lunch, he would have gladly taken us all on for a second trip on the dick train. Today, I wouldn't say that Charlie was a gay, submissive bottom... but he was a very gay bottom and once told me, in one of our one-on-one sessions, "I love being a girl!" He was just a girl with a good-sized dick that only a couple of select guys could suck, with me being one of them.

    It wasn't that he didn't like having his dick sucked; he had just decided, after all of us eventually got around to sucking him, that there was only two of us who did it the way he really liked it - well, that's how he explained it to me, anyway.[/SIZE][/FONT]
    Inside My Bi Mind
  4. Sensibilities - Part VI

    [FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]But the thing I was really learning about was everyone's sensibilities about sex and especially same-sex stuff. I was understanding more and more every day why everyone said that it couldn't be done and it shouldn't be done and when I heard some adults talking about the Bible and what it said about it, man, I couldn't wait to get my bible and start reading it and I did... then I found the parts of the bible that said boys doing it to boys was a sin and they would hit you with rocks and stones until you were dead.

    Very sobering stuff. I knew why adults didn't want us knowing about it, knew they were having a hard time trying to keep us from finding out about it, probably even knew we were doing it in some way and against everything they believed in. And even though I'd now learned about the sensibilities of others about sex - even among my peers - a lot of it still kinda/sorta didn't make sense to me because of the obvious contradictions: They didn't want us to know about it until we were old enough and didn't really want us to know about it then but they knew we could find out about it before we were supposed to... and it bothered them big time.

    My friends, well, some of them were getting weird about it, too. Some who weren't afraid to do it were now afraid to do it or were changing their minds about doing it with another boy; some who were masturbating like it was illegal (and, in a way, it was) were really afraid to do it and with all these changes in sensibilities, I'd keep asking myself, "Why?"

    I still ask myself that question at times. We are so fucking weird about sex. We know we do it. We know the ways it can be done and, as bisexuals, we damned well know that it exposes us to more ways to have sex than a lot of people want to be bothered with knowing. I've been able to travel the world and learned that in some places, a lot of people have those same fragile sensibilities while in other places, eh, what's the big deal about it? Our fragile sensibilities about sex are ancient and we're made to have fragile sensibilities about it. Go ask your neighbor if they had sex last night... and watch how weird the get about it.

    And, yeah, it's still considered to be very rude to talk about it and so much that you can't even talk about it with whoever you're having sex with. All it tells me is that we're not as "grown up" about sex as we like to think we are and, indeed, there are other countries who look at us... and laugh at how childish we are about sex.[/SIZE][/FONT]
    Inside My Bi Mind
  5. Sensibilities - Part V

    [FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I was learning that a lot of people were easily offended when it came to talking about sex and there were even a lot of adults who'd want to start arguing and sometimes fighting about the subject coming up. It was never to be talked about, don't even ask about it, mind your own fucking business and change the subject before I kick your ass... and witnessing such interactions just generated more questions in my mind and a mind that was very keen to find the answers to. I was learning - and very quickly - how big a deal sex was either by reading whatever I could get my hands on to doing it and eavesdropping on any adult who had the nerve to talk about it and in any way.

    I'd be with my friends and we were very eager to share any information we had heard of... while having all the sex we weren't supposed to know about or doing. Sucking cock, eating pussy, fucking the daylights out of each other, one on one and as a group. Pretty much all of the games we played could easily be turned into opportunities to have sex and the older we got, the more... suspicious adults were getting. Sleepovers were being "invaded" at random times and I knew that they were trying to catch us in the act... or stop us before anything happened... and I knew that they knew what we might have been doing - they had to know. Even I knew about how sex smelled; funky, sweaty, musky and a really heavy kind of smell that even opening a window didn't always make go away.

    I knew that even washing up after having some kind of sex didn't get rid of all the evidence because someone could smell it on you... and I wasn't even an official teenager when I figured that one out. Sometimes I come in from playing, all hot, sweaty, and dirty and my parents would look at me really funny and one day, my father called me over to him and actually sniffed me before ordering me to go wash my funky ass.

    And I knew why he did it. That day, maybe he did smell sex on me and maybe he couldn't since I had also been running around all over the place.[/SIZE][/FONT]
    Inside My Bi Mind
  6. Sensibilities - Part IV

    [FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I was learning that there were reasons why they didn't want us knowing about sex because they'd talk about how much trouble they got into when they were our age so hitting us with that "do as I say, not as I do!" crap started making a lot of sense. I was like maybe three weeks into having my first ejaculation (with a girl) and was learning what scared adults a lot: Making babies or, as it was called back then, getting a girl in trouble. Parents were tougher on girls than they were with boys and sometimes they talked about their suspicions that their kids were experimenting with each other and, again, man, they were paranoid about it even though they seemed to know that it could happen.

    I remember the day when one father came stomping down the street to join the other men under the huge oak tree that was in front of the apartment building I lived in and he was very mad. Of course they asked him what was wrong and he had told them that he caught his sons having sex with each other and had just finished beating both of them pretty badly and now he was out of the house to cool down before he "fucked around and killed them."

    The other men were saying stuff to help him calm down, added their support for how he handled it and one guy, I dunno, maybe he was more open-minded about stuff, said that if his boys were doing that nasty-assed shit, it was better than they learned it at home rather than out on the street. What I knew was his boys were learning it right along with the rest of us and the same with the two brothers who'd just gotten their asses kicked.

    Later, I remember my father sitting me down and giving me a severe talking to about not even thinking about sex with anyone - and especially boys - and I had better not be playing with myself, either. He looked... funny trying to talk to me about something without giving anything away and not realizing - I guessed - that I not only knew what he was trying to say, shit - I was already doing everything he told me not to do. The funnier part about that moment was that, a week later, he told me to never put my mouth on a girl's pussy.

    Y'all know how that went and even "funnier" was that my mom had told me to never let a girl put my penis in her mouth - and a few days after my father's epic warning, as I recall - and I had almost hurt myself trying not to laugh since her warning was way late on that one. [/SIZE][/FONT]
    Inside My Bi Mind
  7. Sensibilities - Part III

    [FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I'd often eavesdrop on adult conversations and doing my best to be inconspicuous as they talked about their conquests, who was fucking who and, occasionally, their concerns that their kids - if they had them - were having sex. Sometimes that would spark conversations I'd find interesting and proved that, yeah - they knew we were gonna do it and that they had to do whatever they could do to stop us while realizing that it was pretty much impossible.

    "You can't watch those little motherfuckers twenty-four hours a day," one man said. "But if I catch them, I'm gonna make them wish they were dead when I get finished with them!"

    They'd all pretty much agree with that sentiment while others would proudly state that they knew their kids didn't know anything about sex and, once, I almost let the cat out of the bag and laughed when I heard it because I knew who this one man's children were (of course) and knew they were having sex because an hour before, I had did it with both his son and daughter... at the same time.[/SIZE][/FONT]
    Inside My Bi Mind
  8. Sensibilities - Part II

    [FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]"Didn't you feel bad about having sex at such a young age?"

    Maybe at first but it didn't last very long; this sex thing was just a lot of fun and the thing that made it more fun was knowing I wasn't supposed to know about it or do it. I had the... advantage, I guess you could call it, of being a very smart and intuitive child; the sex thing just clicked in my head, sparked my curiosity to near-crazy levels and the more sex I had, the more I was able to figure out stuff about it. After I got my first library card, I used to sneak around the library and read anything I could find about sex and that's where I first discovered the word, "bisexual." Sneaking around the library and reading about it made me feel like a spy in a foreign country and it was thrilling to be worried about a librarian catching me looking at those early pictures of both male and female anatomy or finding out that, um, babies didn't show up via the stork and because of the baby-making stuff called sperm.

    And I was learning that we had a very naive attitude about sex and a very weird one at that. Figured out that parents and other adults were trying to prevent us from finding out because they knew we would. Figured out why I could no longer take a bath with my sister, why none of us could see each other in our underwear - even though, at the time, we shared a room. I had questions and I knew asking someone to give me answers would get me in a world of trouble... so I looked for the answers myself at the library and pretty much any of my friends I knew.

    Some of them knew what I knew, many of them didn't - but they wanted to know and we set ourselves on the path to find out even though we knew that if we were discovered, we'd be in a world of hurt and trouble.[/SIZE][/FONT]
    Inside My Bi Mind
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