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Why Am I Bi? - Part V

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It explained a lot. I'd realize how alcohol can "make" someone do something that they wouldn't even think about doing when they were sober and like how a man who was drunk felt the need to bribe me with money because "that part of him that couldn't lie" told him that he wanted to have sex with me and, well, he did and... I fucking loved it. Probably makes me a weirdo in that I have never felt that he molested me but, yeah, I know some shit about that. What I did know was that all of the stuff I'd been told about having sex with a boy was... a lie. Of omission, mostly, because, I would learn, society did not want guys to know about this aspect of sex. It was taboo, a sin, and demonized to the nth degree but, as I've said here before, I had asked myself a question: How can something that everyone says is so bad feel so good?"

And learning the answer: It feels good because it's supposed to feel good. I... adjusted to this easily and, no, I'm not even sure why I did and probably and very likely because I didn't know that I was supposed to be "bothered" by what happened. I knew it shouldn't have but it did and my friends knew about sex with guys, too, and we were off and running with it but if we could do it to a girl, oh, yeah! I would learn about the wrongness of men having sex and, well, while the rules says as much, human nature isn't always... nice about such things. In all the categories I put together as I strived to understand bisexuality, I saw the good and the bad of things and, importantly, how guys deal with it and for better or worse. It seemed to me that no matter how a guy got introduced to sex with guys, they either went "buck wild" over it or... not. The psychology of this is both fascinating and complex. It is at this point where I must say that what I've written isn't about good or bad; it's not about morality or the religious dogma that gave birth to our morality.

This is about... boys being boys and even when they're grown up boys. The many things that can happen for a guy to find out that, hmm, it's not all that bad or, sadly, the worst experience ever. Some get past it and thrive and... some can't or don't. Some guys originally found it not to their liking but, at some point or for some reason, they're interested again. Sexuality or "just sex?" The answer to this was, "Yes. Details to follow." because for a lot of the men I've talked to, it was about their sexuality and for others, just another way to have sex and in ways that no woman could or would. I say that some guys find their "inner girl" and are keen to let her out to play and understanding that it's more true than one might not want to believe.

Guys who wondered what it was liked to be fucked would be scared but keen to find out and they'd find out that, yeah, it hurts going in but not so much once you get used to it and it was a truer expression of self as well as a unique way to experience sex that, again, women can't do without some artifice being employed and even guys who were getting pegged would ask and wonder if the real thing really did feel better.

Or the many men whose first step into this kind of sex was a blowjob. Giving or getting one and by whatever means, situations, or conditions it happened under. Those guys who professed to wondering what it was like to suck a guy's dick and... is cum really the acquired taste that women said it was? Men like my protege who was introduced by a friend of his and, well, he had problems getting his head around it. He told me about sucking this guy's dick and it shocked him that he was even doing it - and one of the questions I asked him was, "Were you also surprised that you knew how to suck his dick?"

And he was. And he wanted to know why and I happen to know some stuff about that but even he, one of the men I call "modern bisexuals" came to the conclusion so many of us older bisexuals came to: It's not as bad as they thought and why did I wait so long to do this? The many men whose first impression of this was bad because they way they wound up with a dick in their mouth was the... "wrong way" to get one. Being able to admit to themselves that while the situation itself was bad, um, sucking dick and having cum in their mouth... wasn't really all that bad and some feeling... better about it because I'd tell them that they weren't and aren't the only guys who find this out "the hard way" and letting damned near all of the men I have ever talked to about this know that, nope - you're not alone in this as you think and feel that you are.

I... state the facts as I've come to learn them. I don't sugar coat them. I do not invoke moral righteousness or claim to be a legal expert about sexual laws both past and present. I know what I know because I made it my business to know... even if to be able to explain my own bisexuality to myself. That and... someone has to speak to the truth of things and do it without being PC or afraid to speak on this and if no one else will, then I will because this is a damned important thing to and for men around the world and I'm never going to speak just on the good parts because that makes me "as bad" as the people who believe that bisexuality isn't real and that bi guys are really gay guys or that, yeah, guys having sex with each other is ALWAYS BAD - and even if and/or when a guy decides for himself that no matter how or why he wants to have sex with men - or is having a field day getting some dick - it ain't all that bad and it feels right, normal, and natural...

Because it is. Maybe not so much how one could find this out but, yeah, it's normal and natural because having sex is normal and natural for all of us... because we're human.

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Inside My Bi Mind

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