The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
The fact of life is that most people have it... in the UK probably 70 or 80%.. maybe even up to the 95% that the author of this article http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisf...efore-marriage claims is the case for the US, which I look at slightly suspiciously since she doest say if she has whipped the figure off the top of her head or it comes from somewhere or t'otha of repute.. but the general thing is peeps do get laid before they get wed.. in the case of gay, lesbian and bi peeps... this is especially true since marriage isn't everywhere for the likes of us, even here where the law to allow same sex marriage is currently winding its weary way through the Scottish Parliament.. but should be law by the spring or early summer... my partner and I for those who don't know are currently in a civil partnership...almost but not quite legally wed... tho its what we say we are..and when we can... it will be the full shebang and another excuse for us to declare our love and commitment.. and of course..a good knees up for me m8s and family... it's a bugger having to do it all over again but I am looking forward to it... and I know Kate is... whatever.. I know we weren't virgins when we first took the plunge (to men as it happens not to each other) and hadn't been since our middle teens. Pair a tarts that we are *laffs*..
Now I go along with the author more or less on much of what she says in her article... generally it sounds about right to me and matches me own thoughts about sex before marriage... do u buy a car without test driving it? And for that matter, if u are flogging something as in working condition on ebay, don't u make sure all the parts are in working order? U may have to say it is second hand but that's no problem and is honest selling...but it does raise the question.. just how true is it of those of us who are not heterosexual? Just how when they day comes that our societies fully embrace same sex marriage, just what difference will it make to us whether or not we get laid before or not? Would it make us more likely to stay the course in our relationships as the author claims? Open up our relationships and or make us more likely to be faithful? Will it whatever it does make marriages less likely to break up if we just embraced sex as fun, exciting and not dirty and impure.. and while we are at it recognise that marital virgins really are becoming increasingly a fiction and not look down our noses at a girl just cos she isn't and as so many do look up to lad cos he does the same thing and is treated as Jack the lad..... someone to be sneakily envious of among his peers and admired.
I don't go along with everything she says... am not sure everyone having it away before they ever get near taking vows will make them stay the course for a start whether or not the person they had been having it away with previously was their intended.... but maybe more honesty in marriage and relationships might.. how it would affect the queer world I have no idea... in principle you would think much the same as for heterosexuals.. but am not sure that will be the case.. we are the same but different...I'm a gay woman "married" in a legal civil union with a bi girl.. and we will be married properly in accord with the new law as soon as we are allowed.. such mixed marriages make that problematical but I think it would improve our lot whether or not we are together till death us do part..
But the article says one thing... ffs lets just accept that sex b4 marriage happens and stop trying to shame the world into conforming with religious and societal views which just aren't real... and probably never were..it's about time we got society to split from previous generational values instilled in them by their religions that no one likes a tart so stay pure and innocent until u are wed... cos the reality is that so few of us do these days... and I doubt if we ever did.. I know my mum and dad were no virgins when they met each other far less b4 they got hitched.. dirty buggers *laffs*.. and they stuck it out and were tremendously happy for well over 40 years and they brought us up pretty free and with healthy attitudes about sex and we are doing the same with our kids.. wont happen to everyone of course.. but it is about time we changed this tripe about sex and marriage.. before peeps get hitched they should enjoy it and have fun.. but will it make us more likely to stay the course? Dunno.. but it will at least stop the fucking guilt complex so many have and that can only be good..and might even help with some of the other arguments we have on this sight for instance about getting laid and with whom we are getting laid, why and about cheating...
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Surely there's nobody (outside religious fundamentalism) who'd realy view pre marital sex as immoral? How many weddings do we go to where the brides virginity is assumed to be in tact?
I can imagine the waves of shock at a wedding resception where a rumour went round that the bride was a virgin. "She's a fekin what?...REALY? Honest to God?", would prob be whispered by more than a few guests.:tongue:
How about virgin grooms? Would that be a 'good thing'?
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
*laffs* she is writing about the US Gear... although we still have our own share of dummies who would dish out chastity belts to our young girls and heap bromide in lads tea all on NHS to keep them from having fun and being less than lily white...
..a very rare thing to attend a wedding of anyone who is a virgin nowadays... do know several brides and a few grooms who claimed to be.. but Fran knows and Fran won't tell cos Fran is nice..:bigrin:
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Would you buy a pair of shoes without trying them on in the store first? I think not. Not in this day and age..:}
Silly Cat
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Cherokee_Mountaincat
Would you buy a pair of shoes without trying them on in the store first? I think not. Not in this day and age..:}
Silly Cat
Peeps buy shoes, clothes and lingerie on line all the time in this day and age, Cat babes... like many do brides... not a smart move...:) If I can't feel it, examine it and try it on b4 I part with a penny, it don't get bought...
1 Attachment(s)
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Of course they're virgins you can tell because they wear white!!! Attachment 8876 Visual evidence afterall!!
runs away briskly avoiding the "swish swish of the cleave
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Quite so Mars... wore off white 1st time round... concession 2 tartiness... 2cd time around well... wasn't white zactly.. in fact.. wosnt white at all *laffs*.. but wen they change the law and we can wed properly.. white will be much in evidence... on flower girls, bridesmaids, matrons of honour;)... just how much virginity is amongst that lot will let u guess...ther will b some.. page boy will b a virgin that's for def.. he will only b 3 an a haff an will look dead cute in his lil kilt wiv 'is nobbly lil knees....:tongue: quite the most handsome man at the wedding...
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
I apologise Fran! I meant it in levity only, nothing implied or intended. ME
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Over the last few years, I've been to a number of weddings.
My sibling's children, children of friends.
I can't think of one where the couple hadn't actually lived together. It's just the norm.
Certainly neither of my daughters would even consider for a moment not living with someone for a while before marriage. According to them it's just plain common sense.
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JP1986UM
I think the two girls above are a bride and maid of honor. The one doin the tonguin is wearing a purplish color not white. I think the bride was gettin in a little last minute bisexual fun before the weddin.
No hun... she is havin lil last minute lessie fun.... can u see a man near 2 hand????;)
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Yikes! Let me clarify, it was sarcasm regarding the comment of virginity/marriage/white brides dress. Re-phrase Of course you can tell THE BRIDE is a virgin because she's wearing white hahahahaha teehee teehee :yikes2:
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Quote:
Originally Posted by
darkeyes
No hun... she is havin lil last minute lessie fun.... can u see a man near 2 hand????;)
As others have written, few wait until marriage in my country today.
Uh..darkeyes..it might be more pro bisexual to refer to the two women as having same sex play..not lessie play. You don't really know either's sexuality by one photo. A man doesn't have to be near two women having sex for one or both being bisexual. ;)
Maybe the woman in purple is just uh...helping clean up the bride..lol More likely getting her ready for some porn movie set. A purple fluffer eater?..;)
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tenni
As others have written, few wait until marriage in my country today.
Uh..darkeyes..it might be more pro bisexual to refer to the two women as having same sex play..not lessie play. You don't really know either's sexuality by one photo. A man doesn't have to be near two women having sex for one or both being bisexual. ;)
Maybe the woman in purple is just uh...helping clean up the bride..lol More likely getting her ready for some porn movie set. A purple fluffer eater?..;)
Why? U think I am not bisexual friendly? Tell that to Kate... doesn't matter if they are bisexual or lessie... they are taking part in homosexual play for ladies... in my book thats lessie play but I don't mind u calling it same sex play in least.. even if they r 2 lesbians..:)
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Quote:
Originally Posted by
darkeyes
Why? U think I am not bisexual friendly? Tell that to Kate... doesn't matter if they are bisexual or lessie... they are taking part in homosexual play for ladies... in my book thats lessie play but I don't mind u calling it same sex play in least.. even if they r 2 lesbians..:)
referring to such fun as same sex play and not gay or lessie sex is acknowledging that there is not a one or other choice. In Canada, it is "same sex" marriage and not "gay" marriage as it is referred to in the USA.
If you are bi friendly you will consider using such terms. Perception is about semantics ..sometimes ;)
Referring such action as homosexual action is an interesting comment. It is saying yep there are only two choices imo. It is supporting the phobia that bisexuals are just homos in denial. Bisexuals are neither homos nor heteros. We are bisexuals. They are monosexuals....apples and oranges my luffly. Be a proud bisexual or bisexual supporter and describe us as we are.
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tenni
referring to such fun as same sex play and not gay or lessie sex is acknowledging that there is not a one or other choice. In Canada, it is "same sex" marriage and not "gay" marriage as it is referred to in the USA.
If you are bi friendly you will consider using such terms. Perception is about semantics ..sometimes ;)
Referring such action as homosexual action is an interesting comment. It is saying yep there are only two choices imo. It is supporting the phobia that bisexuals are just homos in denial. Bisexuals are neither homos nor heteros. We are bisexuals. They are monosexuals....apples and oranges my luffly. Be a proud bisexual or bisexual supporter and describe us as we are.
It is what it is tenni... just as had it been a guy and girl whatever their sexuality it would have been heterosexual "action".. no big deal... I don't mind what u refer to it as... what bisexuals refer to it as.. I am not being disrespectful at all, I just have shall we say, a different perspective.. I call it what it is, because I recognise it for what it is... same sex or different sex play (dual or bisexual;)??? Now there is summat to think about.. I jest btw....)
As it happens I generally do refer to same sex marriage as same sex marriage when in actual fact it is homosexual marriage irrespective of the sexuality of the individuals involved... just as we call marriage between different genders heterosexual marriage,,,irrespective of the sexuality of the individuals involved... no big deal...I have not and do not refer to bisexuals as other than what they are.. bisexual people.. they are not heterosexual neither are they homosexual, but they do have the desires of both sexualities to a greater or lesser degree and many (most?) participate in the acts of both sexualities. I have never peddled the myth that many do about bisexuals being anything other than bisexual, but neither am I going to peddle the myth that the acts of bisexuals are other than what they are... heterosexual, homosexual or if there is a number people of both genders involved, depending upon the acts involved, bisexual sex which even then is generally a mixture of both heterosexual and homosexual activities..
I have always delighted in being a supporter of bisexuals and always shall and have always described bisexuals as they are, but because I describe what they do differently from how you would wish me to neither means I have less respect or any less time for them and it certainly does not mean I shall support them and argue their corner any less...
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mariersa
Yikes! Let me clarify, it was sarcasm regarding the comment of virginity/marriage/white brides dress. Re-phrase Of course you can tell THE BRIDE is a virgin because she's wearing white hahahahaha teehee teehee :yikes2:
No need 2 clarify for me Mars me luffly gorge tall yummie person wiv the long gorge legs... kno u well enuff by now... *rests head gently and wearily on Mars ample bussoom and sighs..*
*siiiiighhhhhs*:kiss:
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Quote:
Originally Posted by
darkeyes
No need 2 clarify for me Mars me luffly gorge tall yummie person wiv the long gorge legs... kno u well enuff by now... *rests head gently and wearily on Mars ample bussoom and sighs..*
*siiiiighhhhhs*:kiss:
"Swoons!!! again and again!!!!:love87:
Re: The moral case for getting laid before getting hitched
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mariersa
"Swoons!!! again and again!!!!:love87:
*grins muckily*:kiss:
