For Better or for Worse, in Straightness and in....Otherwise…When One of You is Bi

[slowwyy]

I decided 4 yrs ago I wanted to be with intimate with women.my husband of 14 yrs at the time looked at me with wondering eyes as if to ask,'Why are you doing this to me? You just dropped a major bombshell on me'.
I told him,(though it was after he agreed it was ok with him) that I was going to do it,weather he liked it or not but he said he understood. Much to my suprise,he was very supportive & we have had a few threesomes which we liked but decided we enjoyed 1 on 1 much better.I later told him I'd been thinking about it for 4 yrs but never said anything.Now married 18 yrs,he sometimes gets jealous when I want to be with a women more than a man,(any man for that matter,as we both swing) but at times,my passion for women is much stronger;sometimes my desire for women is very overwhelming for me.
I'm brand new here & this if the 1st thread here I saw I wanted to respond to.It gave me some insight.I would like to thank the author for starting this thread.

:
I WISH I HAD A WIFE THAT WAS BI!!!!! TWO WOMEN EXPLORING EACH OTHER'S BODY AND SUCKING EACH OTHER'S PUSSY'S IS SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW I WOULDN'T GET JEALOUS OR GET MAD,I'D SIT BACK,TAKE MY CLOTH OFF AND START PLAYING WITH MY FAT COCK AND IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME,THEY SEE A REAL NICE COCK AND THINK,"I CAN EAT PUSSY AND HAVE A FAT COCK IN MY PUSSY,AND CAN HAVE ORGASM'S AT BOTH END'S,HOW FUCKING HOT IS THAT"??????????????
WHEW,I GOTTA SIT BACK AND CUM INTO BOTH OF THESE CHIC'S WHILE BOTH OF THEM CUM AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MAIL ME BACK SOON,
Danny
nady652@yahoo.com

[DiamondDog]

:
I WISH I HAD A WIFE THAT WAS BI!!!!! TWO WOMEN EXPLORING EACH OTHER'S BODY AND SUCKING EACH OTHER'S PUSSY'S IS SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW I WOULDN'T GET JEALOUS OR GET MAD,I'D SIT BACK,TAKE MY CLOTH OFF AND START PLAYING WITH MY FAT COCK AND IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME,THEY SEE A REAL NICE COCK AND THINK,"I CAN EAT PUSSY AND HAVE A FAT COCK IN MY PUSSY,AND CAN HAVE ORGASM'S AT BOTH END'S,HOW FUCKING HOT IS THAT"??????????????
WHEW,I GOTTA SIT BACK AND CUM INTO BOTH OF THESE CHIC'S WHILE BOTH OF THEM CUM AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MAIL ME BACK SOON,
Danny
nady652@yahoo.com

[lonelygirlintx]

I'm so glad to have read that article. I have been with my husband for 5 years and about six mos. to a year into our relationship, I let him know I was bisexual and he accepted it, he loves me for it still, and I am so thankful that I found someone like that. He has been with me through all of my soul searching that have to do with my sexuality and he's the best. And I wish that everyone in the world could find what I have found.

[sweetnfun]

I to am in the same relationship, and I would like to get to know you if pos.....

[Psykels]

I am in a straight relationship and my boyfriend knew me as friend before hand, so he always knew I was bi, i've always been open about it to him.
but he's not up for the threesomes, and we talked it through.
And I love him, I've been with him for three years and he makes me so happy, and I don't mind not being with girls as well as him, we discussed me having another partner, but we both felt it'd ruin what we have, plus the fact my family don't know, and will probably disown me.
but i love him
and I'm happy to be with just him
because I only have one partner at a time,
and I'm sorry to ask, but I've only just come out,two years ago (but I knew since my pre-teen's I wasn't just straight, and I didn't know bi-sexuality exsisted...but does having one partner at a time make me not bi?

[straight_wife]

The one thing that is missing from this article is a little bit of compassion for your significant other. I will not attempt to speak for anyone but myself. I see this as the biggest and most horrible thing that has ever happened in my life. I was a happily married woman, with a husband that I adored. Now I can't even stand to think about him, let alone touch him. It literally makes me sick to my stomach to see two men all over each other. I do not know why. I think everyone should live a life that will make them happy, but I can not be a part of this lifestyle. Since my spouse has told me about being bisexual, I have been seriously suicidal. I feel unloved, unwanted, un-sexy, unappreciated, and totally disposable. This is what his new-found identity has done for me. I was an incredibly happy person before this was discovered. Now I am dying on the inside, one day at a time. I feel like no one ever will love me the way I need to be loved. I would like to be more supportive of my husband, but this is one thing that no matter how hard I try, I just can NOT accept. Our marriage is over. THAT is the reality of one of you being bi and one straight. My sexual orientation is not going to change just because he suddenly decided that this was ok. I am leaving him. You don't see people like me on these message boards because I DONT WANT TO BE HERE! The only reason I am is because it is being forced upon me. Just like this new lifestyle was being FORCED on me. I do not adhere to bully tactics. So when I was told to either accept it or move on. Well you see what I decided. I am leaving him. Just know that leaving will always be an option for your SO.

[Fred_Brice]

WoW, so sorry to hear that....

The one thing that is missing from this article is a little bit of compassion for your significant other. I will not attempt to speak for anyone but myself. I see this as the biggest and most horrible thing that has ever happened in my life. I was a happily married woman, with a husband that I adored. Now I can't even stand to think about him, let alone touch him. It literally makes me sick to my stomach to see two men all over each other. I do not know why. I think everyone should live a life that will make them happy, but I can not be a part of this lifestyle. Since my spouse has told me about being bisexual, I have been seriously suicidal. I feel unloved, unwanted, un-sexy, unappreciated, and totally disposable. This is what his new-found identity has done for me. I was an incredibly happy person before this was discovered. Now I am dying on the inside, one day at a time. I feel like no one ever will love me the way I need to be loved. I would like to be more supportive of my husband, but this is one thing that no matter how hard I try, I just can NOT accept. Our marriage is over. THAT is the reality of one of you being bi and one straight. My sexual orientation is not going to change just because he suddenly decided that this was ok. I am leaving him. You don't see people like me on these message boards because I DONT WANT TO BE HERE! The only reason I am is because it is being forced upon me. Just like this new lifestyle was being FORCED on me. I do not adhere to bully tactics. So when I was told to either accept it or move on. Well you see what I decided. I am leaving him. Just know that leaving will always be an option for your SO.

[straight_wife]

I just thought someone should express that there is a possibility of losing your spouse. I will not be returning to these filthy forums anymore either. I came in hoping that there might be some shred of decency among bi-sexuals, but I see none. All I see is everyone thinks that everyone should be free to fuck everyone. This is not what I believe in my heart to be right. So no I will not be returning to your forums. Have a good life, I know mine has to get better from here.

[csrakate]

I just thought someone should express that there is a possibility of losing your spouse. I will not be returning to these filthy forums anymore either. I came in hoping that there might be some shred of decency among bi-sexuals, but I see none. All I see is everyone thinks that everyone should be free to fuck everyone. This is not what I believe in my heart to be right. So no I will not be returning to your forums. Have a good life, I know mine has to get better from here.

I am so very sorry that your time here was under duress and not of your choosing, but for you to leave under the assumption that there is no decency among bisexuals is grossly unfair. I understand how you feel....I know your pain and I acknowledge your fears. I've been there, done that because I am also the wife of a bisexual man. But being here has been a very different experience for me and I am sorry that you don't choose to stick around and find out for yourself. This has been a very open and understanding community that has been more than welcoming as well as supportive of my feelings. I have learned so much from these folks that I am forever indebted to them for what they have taught me.

If there is one thing that I have learned since chatting here it's that my husband's sexual attraction to the same sex has absolutely NOTHING to do with his feelings and/or attraction to me. I have also learned that bisexuals are fully capable of loving ONE person at a time and can be monogamous. There is no way to get through an experience such as yours without total and complete honesty between the two of you and right now you are too hurt and too full of shock to listen to him much less understand where he is coming from. You need time to absorb what you have learned and you need time to heal a bit. I am sorry that you are left feeling so lost and alone...but please..try not to blame all bisexuals for your experience. To judge others as a result is simply not fair. I have no idea how your husband presented this information to you nor do I know what his expectations might be, but if your husband gave you an ultimatum, then perhaps your beef should be with HIM and not the bisexual community as a whole.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you may someday find the peace that you so desperately need right now! If nothing else, please know that you are not alone and that there are many of us who frequent this site and can give you any guidance that you may desire.

Hugs,
Kate

[FerociousFeline]

I just thought someone should express that there is a possibility of losing your spouse. I will not be returning to these filthy forums anymore either. I came in hoping that there might be some shred of decency among bi-sexuals, but I see none. All I see is everyone thinks that everyone should be free to fuck everyone. This is not what I believe in my heart to be right. So no I will not be returning to your forums. Have a good life, I know mine has to get better from here.

I understand that you are in pain. (One would have to be monumentally obtuse not to get that from your printed statement)

However. I respectfully submit that your behavior here is in fact: indecent.

Not ONLY do you NOT have the moral or ethical high ground here, you are in fact guilty of extreme projection of your personal value set.

As a NONPRACTICING sexual person, who spends many hours assisting others adjust and developing their comfort level in acceptance of who they are and what they need, I personally find your highly judgmental and skewed perspective to be as disruptive as it is impertinent.

I truly hope that you will find peace, and what's more, I hope that you find your sense of peace without indulging your more base instincts of belittling others or otherwise attempting to pass your questionable morality on to others in the form of guilt or shame.

indecent......indeed.



FF

[csrakate]

While I certainly understand your view, FF, I hope you can at least try and see things from this lady's perspective at this very turbulent point in her life. Judgmental yes....Indecent, perhaps...but she is scared and lost right now and her lashing out, however misdirected, is just a direct result of her grasping at straws to somehow make some sense of a life altering event that has turned her world upside down. I certainly don't agree with her viewpoint and I strongly disagree with the manner in which she is conveying her feelings, but in many ways I understand her fears and her anger. Those feelings seem to have been exacerbated by a couple of posts in this thread where blatant sexual comments have shown no regard to the feelings of the S/O and I am hoping that her post is merely a knee jerk reaction to some very gut wrenching fears.

BUT...that being said, this is NOT "the reality of one of you being bi and one straight" as she so strongly proclaims. A married couple can very well survive this situation but it takes a great deal of work, an endless amount of communication and honesty and most importantly, an open mind and a great deal of willingness on the part of BOTH parties to make it work (not to mention a vivid imagination! LOL!) From what she has shared with us and without hearing from her bisexual spouse, I can truly say that they have a very long way to go before EVER finding a mutually satisfying way to make this marriage work. And once again, I must say that I find her attacks on the entire bisexual community grossly unfair and unwarranted.

Hugs,
Kate

[FerociousFeline]

Sorry Kate,

There is no excuse for lashing out at others in the manner that I have witnessed here. Pain is a part of life. Generally speaking, pain is a way of showing us where our shadow areas are, and is natures way of showing us that we have some work to do, inside and outside, in order to come back into harmony with the Universe.

Lashing out at others not only creates bad karma, it doesn't really help the person who is acting out. I suggest that the first step in most any traumatic experience is the step of acceptance. Most of the time in our lives, we resist the changes that are thrust upon us against our will.

The prevailing attitude I sense here is one of looking for a scapegoat. (Sorry, I've been the victim of witch hunts before and it is my personal challenge to learn to have compassion for those who would create pain in others as a coping strategy for their own pain.)

Never the less.

I stand by my statements.

She can have all the help that she needs, but I will not tolerate the mindless noise of her insensitivity to others in the process of her dealing with her own pain, challenges, or shifts in her personal world.

We must all be responsible for our own pain, and the ripple effect that the expression of our pain causes in the rest of our communities. The act of being an adult is to recognize this and act in a manner which shows dignity, and respect for those who would seek to assist. Anything less is the rantings of a selfish child.

I'm sorry if this appears harsh, but my level of harshness is generally equivalent to the level of unacceptability of any given behavior.


What is really going on here, is the destruction of a value set which was based on external validation. Without the external validation of her husbands love and affection, she is naturally left without a firm foundation for her "place in her world." The single most effective thing I can offer to her is to attempt to make her understand that she is her own person, and that she must love herself FIRST, before she can hope to experience or understand the love of another. If she can love herself, then she will have a sufficient measure of understanding that although she can love another, she cannot control them. Although she can build a life with another, her own life and her love of herself MUST BE a part of that equation. It is possible that her indignation and feelings of betrayal and outrage stem from this burgeoning self protective emotional state, but there are ways to express that, and ways NOT to express that.

Peace.

FF

[csrakate]

The prevailing attitude I sense here is one of looking for a scapegoat. (Sorry, I've been the victim of witch hunts before and it is my personal challenge to learn to have compassion for those who would create pain in others as a coping strategy for their own pain.) FF

FF,
I have never asked you to forgive her rantings nor have I asked you to excuse them. As you see in my posts, I feel the same way and I have said over and over that her anger is misguided and her tone is very judgmental. I merely asked that perhaps you do as you say above....have a bit of compassion for someone who has used this "lashing out" as a coping mechanism for the extreme pain that she may be in right now. Unless you have been in her position, unless you have had your entire world pulled from underneath you and had your perceived reality shattered, how can you possibly judge her in return? This is someone who is obviously in a great deal of pain and it has nothing to do with learning to be her own person at this point. Right now she has absolutely no idea who she is nor does she have any idea who she has been for how ever many years they have been married. Before she got so nasty, she said how alone she felt, how scared she was and how empty she felt. Can you not muster up a modicum of compassion for her present state of mind??? Can you not overlook her words just a bit and recognize a fellow human being who is so obviously in pain? Right now her reality is that she has lost the man she loves because he says he is bisexual and expects her to accept it or "move on" and in her skewed sense of the situation, she has chosen to blame bisexuality, however wrong and misdirected it may be. NO...her pain does NOT excuse her narrow minded view of bisexuality nor does it justify her claim that bisexuals haven't a "shred of decency"...but it may very well explain her lack of thought behind her ill chosen words and her obvious neglect to consider the real life people behind the lifestyle she is so wrongly condemning.

I guess I see this situation a bit differently because I can put myself in her shoes....I'm not going to rehash my life but as you well know I spent many years struggling with very similar fears and frustrations and I am ashamed to admit that at times, I wanted to "blame" others for my husband's bisexuality. BUT...given time and the proper exposure and education, I have learned differently. "Straight Wife" may very well be a lost cause and her preconceived ideas may bar her from opening up her mind. I guess I just hope that we can allow a few missteps along the way to guide others with similar struggles and at least offer a bit of human compassion and understanding. I am so very thankful that no one gave up on me along the way and that some very loving and caring people took the time to help me when I so desperately needed it. Believe me... I am not trying to change your view...it's just how I feel and I simply wanted to explain myself.

Hugs,
Kate

[FerociousFeline]

FF,
Unless you have been in her position, unless you have had your entire world pulled from underneath you and had your perceived reality shattered, how can you possibly judge her in return? Can you not muster up a modicum of compassion for her present state of mind??? Can you not overlook her words just a bit and recognize a fellow human being who is so obviously in pain?

Hugs,
Kate

How soon we forget eh? Amazing.
No Kate, as you well know I'm a vicious and insensitive animal.

<rolling eyes>

I'm out.

[csrakate]

I wish to apologize to anyone who may read my words and possibly interpret them as hurtful and insensitive. That was never my intention. All I wanted to do was to possibly present the "other" side and perhaps speak for the countless other spouses of bisexuals like myself who have faced similar fears and frustrations. I guess I thought that presenting this view might enlighten those of you who face this very same situation and perhaps help you to understand what your spouse may feel and experience upon discovering your sexuality. The emotions they may express upon discovery are raw and very reactionary and sometimes can come across as judgmental and angry. While I don't condone "Straight Wife's" words or her views, I simply had hoped to convey where they may be coming from. I am so very sorry if I have offended anyone and I assure you that it was never my intention to do so. This site has always made me feel that it welcomed anyone who supported bisexuality, regardless of orientation but in the almost three years that I have been chatting here, I have also seen a great many spouses who come here seeking guidance and support in the midst of some very confusing times. I simply wanted to make sure that those that come here in the future can be assured that this is a caring and supportive community and that their issues, however unfounded, will not be ridiculed or dismissed.

Once again, my apologies and with that...I AM DONE!

Kate

[straight_wife]

This will be my last visit here. You seem to have missed one very important point. I don't fear that my future ex can still love me. I just know that I am no longer in love with him. Part of it for me is the honesty issue. He hid something from me for decades. That in and of itself causes me to doubt everything that our marriage is about. Nothing is real anymore and everything that I thought that I had is now gone. I just don't feel it anymore.

You are right about one thing though, I should not blame all bisexuals for the behavior of one individual. However; you all do not seem to give a flying fuck about what your spouses are being forced into going through. If that person is still with you, then you have over time changed their beliefs on what is right and wrong. This just isn't something that I can do. How am I supposed to make love to someone if every time he touches me I want to vomit? Last time you have to hear from me I promise.

[Jimbo712]

Coming to terms with my bisexuality was a big step, but telling my partner was even harder, as I didn't know till after we were married. People can as "Why didn't you know before you were married?". I have no answer for that, I have always had urges, chalking it up to curiousity. I didn't act on them really till after I was married. Just started craving sex with men, and finally did something about it.

[csrakate]

Well kick my ass and call me a fool for trying!! Sigh....what a complete turnaround from your previous post!!! I still contend that people here DO care and they most assuredly give a "flying fuck" about their spouses!

And now I am REALLY done! LOL!

Hugs,
Kate

[jamieknyc]

FF, you need to be a lot less judgmental towards this woman. Just because you have bought into some ideology does NOT give you the right to act that way towards others who are going through real life crises.

[im_here]

Straight-Wife: I may not like what she has to say, but it is spoken from a woman who is in extreme turmoil right now. Maybe her spouse did a piss poor job of introducing this lifestyle. How many women here can honestly say that a rough approach wouldn't have ruined the idea for them? There are a few words in her rambling that caught my eye. The first is that she is being FORCED into this. No one should ever be forced into any kind of sexual anything. This totally screws up the mojo and can seriously hamper any enjoyment. Not to mention leaving scars that will last a lifetime. So I guess the real question is: Are you really being forced into behavior that you find unacceptable?

Before anyone starts to harshly judge, let me ask a question for the others on this forum. Would you be able to live a "straight" life that was being forced upon you by the person you love?

Just my

[im_here]

The other thing that caught my eye:

She also said that she felt like she was going to vomit when he touches her. No offense to anyone, but if she really feels forced into these encounters, then it is a rape. Can you blame someone for being sick at the idea of being raped?

I couldn't just not say anything. You see I was raped when I was 18. Those words jumped out at me because, despite being married, this woman sounds like she was taken into something against her will.

[straight_wife]

You want to know why I am so bitter, I will tell you. I have been married for 15 years and I walked in on my husband being fucked in the ass. He said this is his life and I can either join in or leave. I chose to leave. I came here in the hopes of seeing that you can be bisexual and not be a lying, cheating bastard like him.
What I was trying to point out is that there seems to be this idea that I should have to change my sexual orientation so that I can be what he wants me to be. I just can't do that. I can not change the fact that I am straight anymore than any of you can change the fact that you are bisexual. To ask anyone to do so is to show that you don't really love or respect them as a person.

[PlacentaJuan]

You want to know why I am so bitter, I will tell you. I have been married for 15 years and I walked in on my husband being fucked in the ass. He said this is his life and I can either join in or leave. I chose to leave. I came here in the hopes of seeing that you can be bisexual and not be a lying, cheating bastard like him.
What I was trying to point out is that there seems to be this idea that I should have to change my sexual orientation so that I can be what he wants me to be. I just can't do that. I can not change the fact that I am straight anymore than any of you can change the fact that you are bisexual. To ask anyone to do so is to show that you don't really love or respect them as a person.

straight_wife-Here's a website that will be helpful to you.

www.straightspouse.org/

It is a support group for women whose husbands have came out as bi/gay.

[rissababynta]

However; you all do not seem to give a flying fuck about what your spouses are being forced into going through.

that is incredibly harsh and wrong to say. yeah, a straight spouse might feel forced into a situation where they are with someone who is bisexual, but can it not go the other way around? A bisexual can't help the fact that they are attracted to the same sex anymore than a straight person can't help that they are attracted to the opposite and this has nothing to do with not caring about your spouse. It could easily be said that a straight spouse doesn't give a flying fuck about their bisexual spouse because they refuse to have any kind of understanding how they feel either. They could feel that they are forced to either magically become straight or get a divorce. Not fair for anyone in cases like that.

Now, in your case, the way that your husband presented the situation to you is horrible. He should never have cheated on you and he should never have made you make a choice. Now THAT is not giving a flying fuck. If you are uncomfortable with him being bisexual and the idea of him ever being attracted to a man disgusts you to the point where you no longer love him, than that is your choice. Those are your feelings that you can't help anymore than he can help being bi. Perhaps if he had come to you long ago about all of this instead of doing things behind your back, you would feel a lot less betrayed. I think it is perfectly understandable for you to feel the way you do, and quite normal as well. Any form of sneakiness makes people feel worse about something. Honesty is always the best option when it comes to relationships and people's feelings and lives.

[still_shy]

Well said Rissa

[coldwinterman]

Wow... I saw the header and thought, "What a great title. I should check this out." Was I in for a ride??? Let me start by saying that the article is very well written and extremely well presented. The ability to summarize your points about such a topic, without becoming a novelist, is an art. Kudos!!!

The article is great for someone like myself. I'm married and in the closet. My situation works like this. I became a born-again christian (radical bible-thumper style) when I was 14. From that point on, I was taught that anything non-hetero was wrong. I started dating my wife when we were 16. We married at 19. I lost my faith around 26 and started searching my soul for answers. About a year or two later is when I started enjoying homo-erotica as much as hetero-erotica. I have come to fully appreciate that pleasure is pleasure. Happiness is happiness. Quality of life is not dependant on what sex you choose to fantasize about. It's about being happy with your self and what you have accomplished in life.

Over the last few years, I've tried to open up to my wife. She doesn't want to accept it. The last time we had a discussion about it, she said that if I ever actually came out and told her I was gay, she'd ... (her description sounded very much like Straight_Wife). When I said that guys can be bisexual, she laughed and said that it wasn't going to work as she knew I was just pulling her leg. Immediately after that incident, things changed in the bedroom though. I look at Holybane's comments and completely relate.

The reason I'm here is not to hook up or to explore my fantasies. I'm here to find like-minded individuals who will walk with me down life's path. A post like this is cool, but I love reading the comments. Seeing Straight_wife's and csrakate's comments give me two perspectives on how my wife could react if I seriously told her of my feelings. I have no intentions of partaking in any extra-marital activities, but it doesn't stop me from fantasizing. It doesn't stop me from getting that feeling of excitement when I see Matt Damon on TV. (Mmmm... Matt Damon. Teehee!!!)

I like what Long Duck Dong had to say about us being much more than just "sex machines". It's true. As an amateur writer, I often pen my fantasies and then toss them into the "Private" file, rarely to be seen again. If I can comment on one thing LDD (and please don't take this as anything more than my amused comments), if you wish to be recognized for more than just a sexual being, you may wish to reconsider your tag line that reads... "Best thing about being bi ???....If I can't make up my mind how i want it.........you can do it to me any way you want until i do make up my mind" LOL

While we may agree or disagree with the topics or the comments expressed, it simply shows the wide variety of personalities here. We are doctors, musicians, and factory workers. We are college graduates and high school drop-outs. We are everyone in one small forum. I love reading both the topic and the comments.

With all that said, let me pose my question... I've described my situation above. Why should I bother to come out when I have no intentions of entertaining more than just simple fantasies in my head??? I doubt that the opportunity will arise for her to catch me masturbating to porn of any kind. Am I being deceitful by not admitting that feeling I get for Matt Damon??? (Mmmm... Matt Damon. Teehee!!!) What are the benefits to coming out when you know it will only cause more problems???

[The_Wall]

Straightwife, I'm so sorry for what happened to you. A couple of years ago, my friend's relationship with his girlfriend ended not because she was bisexual, but because she was cheating on him. For a marriage of 15 years to end in that way is a horrible, and I hope you find someone right for you that you can trust and who can be open with you.

I told my boyfriend that I was bisexual within the first couple of weeks that we were dating. He was interested, but not upset in any way. Neither of us has a problem with jealousy, so the openness is very refreshing. The only thing I can add to this article is to tell your partner as soon as possible. If they are uncomfortable, they can end it without having put so much of themselves into a relationship. If they are comfortable, then you know that you have started a relationship with trust and honesty.

One more point that I think everyone on the forum will agree with: being bisexual gay does not give license to cheat on your straight partner.

[DeShawn2]

I made the mistake of reading this article from the bottom up and, as a prude, I really would've benefitted from reading it the right way. (Who knew one would ever need to clairfy that?)

It's encouraing!

[DeShawn2]

By Anonymous

You owe it to your partner and to yourself to be 100&#37; sure that you are attracted to their gender as well, before going any further.

(c) Copryight 2007 Anonymous

So, basically, it's the heavy "I need some space" clause? I can't envision many relationships enduring that. Or is that endurace a matter of maturity of the people involved?

[IngridGary]

I really enjoyed the article and I agree on many if not all of the points it raised. I am currently single and it can be difficult to find acceptance with people I date. At some point during the date, the question of sex comes up and I let it be known that I am bisexual. It can be difficult but, I am more comfortable being honest from the start. (I have watched alot of fine booty walk away) At the end of the day I know it is for the best. This site has been really supportive and a great outlet for thoughts, ideas, and discussion. I am hoping to physically meet someone but I am being patient.

I just want say i feel your fustration and pain. I've tried thru to marriages to be open about my sexuality...but both times it was better to keep it hiden! I decided after my last marriage failed I would no ;onger keep myself hidden in a closet...well this has been very hard! When a man hears that you are Bi...he automatically thinks 3sums and then demand me to make them a part! Quick fast turn offs! But I just want you to know that there are the ones who understand and will except you for you and will help you to explore both sides. The reason I know this is because I've found one and he helps me in many ways. He encourages me to fulfill my needs and desires.He also reasures me that he doesn't have to be part of (physically) my extra fun! As long as He knows about it and I share with him what happened! He wants what makes me happy!